Tin's Oxymoron

What Should I Do?

2010-10-12T21:51:00.001+08:00

I don’t know what to do with this blog anymore. I rarely update now. Feels like shutting it down and moving to other blog. We’ll see. I don’t have a decision yet, though I did thought of something.

Inverted Lifestyle.

2010-08-15T01:10:00.001+08:00

I cannot believe that I just had my last lesson in RP last Friday. Technically, the semester is not over yet because there are still tests to be taken after this YOG holiday. However, according to facts, I don’t need to come back to RP for classes anymore next semester because I will be away on internship. In the end, I still did my RJ last Friday because I thought it wasn’t that difficult. It was my last RJ from attending lesson. The next time, there won’t be RJs no longer but essays and a final report. But I don’t care because 2359 deadline is not applicable anymore. Hah! Honestly, I can’t believe I am done with 15 weeks of lessons for this semester. My dream of holding a diploma isn’t far from now. Just do my very best for internship and everything else that may come its way and I will be graduating soon.

Last night, I stayed up until 3 in the morning. Then I listened to some songs while waiting for 4am because that’s when I want to eat but I fell asleep. The next thing I woke up to daylight and I was like, damn! I missed sahur! I’m finally realising that the only time I do “diet” is during Ramadhan cause that’s the only time I don’t eat in the day. Other than that, what is diet? I would ask. The best thing about fasting is that you don’t have to worry about where and what to eat for lunch. One burden off the list, won’t you agree? Especially if you are as fickle minded as me, and can’t make a decision on the spot.

Felt like vampire though, having unable to eat in the day and only “feeds” at night; from dusk to dawn. And yes, I’m living my inverted lifestyle at the moment.

Subliminal Mind.

2010-08-12T22:46:00.001+08:00

Let me just tell you something interesting. Everytime when I’m fasting, the kind of hunger I felt is a different type of hunger. It is not the bad kind of hunger when I am craving for food. I think this good thing is probably due to already having the ‘niat’.

Anyway today, I was having some stomach ache and it affected me in terms of fighting the hunger feeling and some other temptations. Was feeling so lazy to head to school just for a pre-IIP training and it didn’t even last for an hour. Took my time to go home but still reached home before Azan.

Nothing much to do right now so I’m just updating and playing Facebook games. Again, yes.

Here We Meet Ramadhan Again, Alhamdulillah.

2010-08-11T22:51:00.001+08:00

It’s the last day of my long weekend and the first day of fasting. Ramadhan is here and I’m wishing all my Muslim friends/readers a wonderful month, may you fulfil your intended goodness with full of patience.

Unfortunately, some things aren’t going well at my house. Things between the adults are rocky and it’s nothing new. This hasn’t happen for quite some time and I never thought it’s happening again. Being the nice person I am, I help to send and fetch my nephew, Ali, to and from school today. It’s my first time sending Ali to school and I was thinking how it’ll be when I have to send my son/daughter to school in the future. Hmm, now that I have such a thought, does this mean that I am optimistic for I look into the future and think of good thing? Right, okay, move along.

I haven’t been in class for 6 days, due to the long weekend. So I’m starting to realise, I haven’t done any RJ in 6 days. If I am skipping classes this Thursday and Friday, then I can say goodbye to writing my last RJ because the last RJ I did was on Thursday. And I was having home-based learning (HBL) so I wasn’t even in school! Anyway, I would still have to be in school tomorrow to attend this compulsory pre-IIP training.

I’m going to post some pictures containing quotes I got off Tumblr…

And lastly, I’m ending my post with a quote:

“The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.”

- Jennifer Aniston

Who Is…

2010-08-10T22:57:00.001+08:00

Watched Salt the movie today with my nephew and his friend at GV Bishan. I wasn’t expecting much of the movie at first but in the end, I thought it surpassed my expectation. As usual, action in a movie is my favourite and if they can show a good one to me, I’d most likely enjoy it. Apart from the action, the storyline isn’t that bad. I do like all these secret identity stuffs in a movie. Play along the lines of secret agents and security officials, yeah, I like that. So, I would say that it was worth the money.

Starring Angelina Jolie. Damn, she’s hot.

This Is Gibberish Nonsense.

2010-08-10T01:32:00.001+08:00

Right now, I’m playing Facebook games. At this hour, there’s nothing much for me to do. I don’t even know what I ought to do right now. I’m like seriously bored. I know I can sleep, I know how much I’d love to dream but I just don’t feel like sleeping for now.

So let me update what I did today. Went out with my nephew and niece to Junction and we did some shopping. First, we went to Diva (the accessories shop) cause my niece had been intending to buy some stuffs from there. In the end, I bought another ring and some pairs of ear-rings. I showed my Mum the ring and she loved it. Then we head to Charles & Keith cause I’ve been thinking of buying new shoes so right now, I already have in mind what shoes I want to get. Then we looked for bags cause my nephew needed a new one for school and so finally we found one. Headed to Artbox, a newly opened shop and bought my niece a notebook as her birthday present. Then we head to the basement to get some other stuffs for home, before going back to the crib.

Got home in time to catch NDP on television. I didn’t really watch everything cause my interest had always been the starting, which I had missed while I was out. So my interest was shifted to the things I had bought and talking/sharing about our accessories with my mother.

I haven’t been doing a good job in keeping my friends up to date about myself through this blog. If you really want to know my almost exact details on what I have been doing, catch me real time via my Twitter updates.

Okay, I’m out now. See you soon!

Let’s Head To The Beach.

2010-07-28T23:00:00.001+08:00

I was early for school today. There wasn’t any class but I was there to help out in this SHL Tech Day. Weird how I met some staffs that I never thought existed.

I wanna go to the beach. Friends, let’s go to Sentosa!

That’s About It For Today.

2010-07-27T23:53:00.001+08:00

Starbucks today at Woodlands Civic Centre. Had mocha blended coffee and beef pie. Was so hungry as I did not had lunch. Came to class late, cause I woke up late. Had NIFM for today’s attendance. First time this semester. That’s pretty much for today.

Gotta wake up early tomorrow morning. Need to be in school at 8am to help out for SHL Tech Day. Whatever the hell is that. Hope to have fun tomorrow.

I probably have too much caffeine in my system, be it from coffee or tea. Yeah.

The Lazier It Gets.

2010-07-26T22:57:00.001+08:00

My long 3-day weekend is soon to be over. It’s already week 13 of school and honestly, I’m feeling so much lazier to attend school now. It seems that the closer I get to the finishing line, the lazier I get. Come to think of it though, I am left with 2 weeks of school before another long weekend (National Day holiday). It sucks when I am alone because that is when the devil whispers to me. I get all sorts of nonsense ideas and thoughts that are so tempting just to skip class. I try to be strong but achieving the best isn’t always the outcome.

I haven’t been active here and my apologies cause I have been active more on other channels. There’s no denying that this is still a place for me to share my life. Let me update that my Final Year Project (FYP) is finally over. My presentation was last Saturday and I could say that it went okay. I was filled with jitters all over my body at first but once it was over, I was so relieved. I promised myself that even if I screw up, I was going to enjoy the rest of my day. I did just that, enjoying the rest of my day.

Went out with Shiya and Hafiz to VivoCity and we watched Inception. That movie was mind-blowing. I really could not describe the movie in details, for it’s just one of the best movies in 2010. The movie hits me in terms of how much I love to fall asleep just because I could dream and escape reality. My fantasy world is as important to me as getting enough sleep but the movie pretty much reminds me not to get deeply immersed in my fantasy world or I’ll confuse my reality with the latter. That’ll be very dangerous for me if I get stuck in it. You people who haven’t seen the movie, I strongly recommend you to watch it. This movie is best for those who could open their mind and not fall asleep in confusing story-lines, because you’ll need lots of brain cells throughout this movie.

Lastly, I am going to see Jay Park on my birthday – 25th September. At least now I’ve got my birthday planned, as I will be heading to Wave House, Sentosa to have a date with Jay. I think I’m going to make a banner to get a hug from him, just cause it’s my birthday. Wish me luck! I need to feel like a lucky bitch on my birthday.

Who Shall Be My Knight?

2010-07-07T23:44:00.002+08:00

Went to the movies today with Hafiz and Shiya. We were supposed to go tomorrow but decided to go today because there won’t be any RJ to be written tonight. Watched Knight & Day and I totally love the movie. Most of my fantasy can be seen in the movie. Romance, with action and comedy totally made me happy. I never laughed so loud in a movie theatre before. Now I can safely go back to my fantasy and dream as much as I like, because after watching the movie, it feels like it got my brain’s creative juices flowing again.

Initially, we wanted to watch Toy Story 3 but there wasn’t a suitable time slot for us to watch in the evening. Hafiz wanted to watch this scary Thai movie. Of course, we didn’t want. I don’t want to be forced to watch a horror movie. I will only watch if I want to.

I am done with Human Motor Control & Development UT and Biomechanics UT. Now I am left with Sports Admin UT2 assignment. I haven’t even done a single thing. What’s important is that I have to complete my FYP report by this weekend, as the deadline is this Sunday. Honestly, I don’t even know who to submit it to.

Lastly, I have to watch The Twilight Saga: Eclipse real soon. What’s a big fan if I still haven’t seen the movie, right? And I have yet to finish reading The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. I am too busy with school assignments that when I got home, I’m too engrossed with them.

Two more days to weekend! Come on, Tinsane, you can do it!

Knight & Day; awesome movie. =D

Smile Lady, Smile.

2010-07-03T12:53:00.001+08:00

Yesterday’s FYP meeting was so nerve-wrecking. Our advisor wasn’t too happy with us because we had not tabulated the data. What more, we took the wrong data. She did not smile a bit and she was angsty. I think she should have been one of our subjects right from the start. As said by the Joker, “Why so serious?”

I had found out my IIP placing yesterday. Say hello to SSC again! My attachment will start on 20 September 2010 to 7 January 2011. After what Sarah told me about the working condition now, I’m beginning to feel nervous and scared. I told her to be there for me, and that she have to stay there until I finish my attachment.

I will most probably cut my hair later. Then I’m going out to RP to catch Ignite Music Festival. I heard from one source that the turnout yesterday was crazy low, due to the downpour and soaked ground. Oh dear… what an outcome. I hope today shall be better.

It’s a weekend, but I still have so much things to do. I hope to catch The Twilight Saga: Eclipse this Monday with my nephew and niece. They are having school holiday because of Youth Day, and I don’t have classes on Monday (though I think I still have to go back in the evening for FYP) so we shall make use of the opportunity. I will update again soon so, see you later.

Push The Button and Go!

2010-07-01T15:53:00.001+08:00

I wanted to blog yesterday but I was feeling too lethargic from my blocked nose that I just went to bed. Anyway, I had a good time in the Biochemistry lab yesterday. For my three years in RP, and a few visits to the lab, yesterday was my first time wearing the lab coat. Mr. Koh showed us around, telling us a thing or two of things we ought to know. In case you guys didn’t know, I had to collect saliva samples of my subjects for my FYP. Yesterday, we were going to analyse the samples to get their stress level result. We had to transfer their saliva from the bottle to this very small container which I forgot the name for it. It was a tedious job to suck in the saliva using the pipette, than transfer it into the small container. Mr. Koh warned us that the saliva could smell. I’m glad I had a blocked nose, although one sample must have a really strong smell, cause I could smell it. Disgusting, I know.

I have to say I like doing lab work. Anything I can do with my hands, I enjoy it. Maybe I’ve found my calling. Okay, that was said on impulse. I don’t like analysing things though. It gives me headache. For example, lab work can be very interesting to me but the part when the results come out, and you have to give your conclusion, man… I hate that. Life science can be fun, but don’t make me do any Chemistry. Those secondary school days where you had to handle solutions and heating, God, I’m glad those days are over.

Alright, for now, I am feeling under the weather. I haven’t been well since Sunday but I ignore my body and still attend classes and Biomechanics workshop. Took medication at home but it doesn’t get any better. In the end, I gave in to my body and went to see the doctor this morning. Had an MC so I’m staying at home right now. I will be back in school tomorrow, for there are meetings to attend. Not forgetting, I have so many deadlines to meet. No time to completely chill!

When You’re Gone…

2010-06-22T23:29:00.000+08:00

My parents, nephew and niece are finally back! Like any other ‘dysfunctional’ families, there are some stories to be told. Some things happened but I’m too lazy to tell. Basically, my nephew got into trouble with the law but he made it back safe and sound. Stupid kids.

Nothing much to update tonight. Goodnight!

Smart-en Up, Wiser-en Up!

2010-06-21T23:21:00.001+08:00

I think I might have accidentally “dislocated” my left shoulder. I can’t move it too much or it’ll hurt. Sad, I know. It’s not too bad, though. I can still function.

Everything is in a rush now. From my FYP, to my module assignment, and to everything else. I hope I can cope. So many things to do, yet so little time. This is not even a laughing matter. I’m in my third year now and I should be very serious about this. But somehow I don’t feel like it. What if I want to further my studies? Would I even be able to write a proper report? Come on Fatin, you need to be smarter and wiser than this. And you know you can do this.

God, I’m just a tad bit lazy. I reckon more changes, anyone? Yes.

You Can Let Go Now, Daddy.

2010-06-20T23:26:00.001+08:00

Wind blowing on my face

Sidewalk flying beneath my bike

A five-year-old’s first taste

Of what freedom’s really like

He was running right beside me

His hand holding on the seat

I took a deep breath and hollered

As I headed for the street

“You can let go now, Daddy

You can let go

Oh I think I’m ready to do this on my own

It’s still a little bit scary

But I want you to know

I’ll be okay now, Daddy

You can let go”

- “You Can Let Go Now, Daddy”, Crystal Shawanda.

Happy Father’s Day, to all the Dads in the World. This part of the song reminded me of the time my Dad taught me how to ride a bike when I was really young. To be honest, the whole song moved me, it brought me to tears.

Truthfully, when I look back, I kind of put my father in a bit of a situation during my pre-Melbourne trip. He had to fork out a lot of money, as well as take a break from work to fulfil my needs. Through it all, he made my dream and wish come true. Without him, I wouldn’t have been able to get on that trip.

To end this entry, I love my Dad. I really do and without him, I wouldn’t know what I’d do or what I’d be. He may not be the coolest Dad but in my eyes, he’s done the best he could; just for loving my mother, my brothers and me.

My Miracle.

2010-05-30T23:36:00.001+08:00

I did it! I fucking did it! Dreams do come true so you better be careful of what you wish for. What I meant to say is that my first run/race is really for adidas Sundown. Though it’s not a marathon, but I ran for 10km. For a person who’s fat like me, running 10km under 2 hours is an achievement. Especially for someone who can barely pass her 2.4km and didn’t run at all for 6 weeks ever since school started. Congratulations to myself.

I’ll be real honest here. If not for one particular song and a trick of the mind, I wouldn’t have pushed myself at my last kilometre. “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus helped me stay strong. I was listening to the lyrics and I was smiling to myself and pushing on. Then about 500 metres left, I pretended there was Leeteuk from Super Junior, cheering me on next to me shirtless. Just like how he was in “Bonamana” music video, dancing with no t-shirt on but only with a jacket. It may be embarrassing to admit it, I know. Come on people, every girl needs their own set of motivation, just like everyone else. Only my mind and my imagination work wonders for myself.

One thing for sure, running next to the airport runway is awesome. I get to see airplanes landing and take-off, as well as listening to the roaring sound of the engine. I get to see it live with my own eyes, with no glass barriers.

It Hurts and It Stings. Ouch!

2010-05-15T22:23:00.001+08:00

Went for a tetanus immunisation yesterday, after the briefing with parents. I asked the doctor if any arm would be alright, but he said I can choose the non-dominant arm. What he told me is that the injection will sting a little, like an ant bite. That is very normal to me. What I didn’t know, is that there will be side effects. By yesterday night, my arm was already hurting. When I woke up today, my arm totally stings! It hurts like crazy that I couldn’t lift it up an inch.

I thought I had an allergy, so I went to Google and search on it if it is normal to feel pain after an injection. Apparently, for tetanus immunisation, side effects are there! Some have horror stories like the pain resides from days to weeks, while others felt sick, nauseous, or have body ache. I’m glad mine is only pain on my arm.

I am supposed to be studying today but this pain is distracting me. I feel weak, and I complain too much. I hope this pain goes away as soon as possible or I am not going to function properly. PLEASE! If you don’t know what is tetanus immunisation, please Google it yourself. Thank you very much. I love you.

Young Crazed Peeling.

2010-05-14T21:48:00.002+08:00

Alright, I have not post any entries for close to 3 weeks already now. Apologies to those who came to my blog everyday and is disappointed with no updates at all. I think today I am going to post 2 kind of an emotional thing. First up, is a video of a cat who snuggled up to its dead partner. Don’t cry, alright?

Apologies that the video appear big here. You can right-click and click on ‘watch on YouTube’ for more convenience.

The next thing I am going to post is something from Formspring. Guys, any form of bullying IS bullying. Be it physical, verbal or even on the internet, it IS a kind of bullying. You may hide behind your computer and laugh away, but the pain and the hurt received by the victim IS real. Do not play with feelings, my dear friends. Please, don’t try to be funny and say hurtful things on the internet, hiding your identity. Not everyone is strong enough to face such a thing. Please be kind to others. Thanks. Here’s the picture (I do not know how true it is, if the victim really committed suicide, but think about it, how do you feel knowing that your actions influence an innocent to kill himself/herself):

Click on the picture to maximize it.

Hmm… do you want me to update you guys on something else? Perhaps a good news for me? Alright, one thing for sure, I had finally known my blood type, after a lot of procrastination. But no, I am not telling you what it is here.

Also, I am going on a study trip with my school. I guess it is finalised and confirmed. I am going to Melbourne this June. Gosh, it will be winter there. I am so excited! Although for now, I am not going to rush things because there are so many things to do. Argh! Seeing all those graduates kind of motivate me to do well for my third and final year in polytechnic. Yes, fighting!

Alright people, ciao! Anything, text me. Update you guys soon!

I Have The Rest of My Live To Live.

2010-04-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

Today, some things just don’t go my way. I thought the day was going fine, but no, it doesn’t. Couldn’t say I had a bad day, though. It wasn’t so bad, just that I was pretty much pissed with some things.

I was having a little headache, and I don’t know which one is right but it’s either I keep bumping into people, or people just keep bumping into me. It was somehow irritating, cause God, I don’t want anything to do with you people! Yes, not when I am already unwell up in my head. When I said “bump”, I literally mean bumping into me.

Then in the train, I heard about 3 phones with the same ringtone. “Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy…” Aye, whaddup girl? Could you turn your damn phone off?! Dude, do you know how annoying it was? I have nothing against Ke$ha. For the record, I do like that song. But when a phone kept ringing with that song, it felt like a bee buzzing around your head. What more, when you’re having a headache. Think about it.

My second brother asked me to help him buy a double mcspicy at McDonald’s. I ordered, say my order loud and clear, looked at the cashier in the eye so that he gets my order. Guess what? He keyed in double cheeseburger. Dude, are you deaf or what? Forget it.

I’m not going to hope that tomorrow shall be a better day. I am just going to live each day at a time. I have the rest of my life to live.

Say Hello, Last Week of April.

2010-04-25T23:33:00.001+08:00

Went to my sister-in-law’s cousin’s wedding. Put on my baju kurung and some make-up and I was ready to go. My brother, whose birthday was yesterday, wasn’t feeling well in the car. He’s all fine at the end of the day, no worries. Afterwards, went to Sheng Shiong at Jurong and bought some stuffs. Mum had been buying watermelons from there. I love watermelons. And then we went home, of course.

Back at home, I helped put on eye make-up on my nephew and niece. Yes, no kidding. My nephew was wearing eyeliner. He definitely remind me of those K-Pop guy artists. And my niece, I drew a heart, a thunder bolt and a star on her face. She looks like she was going for NDP.

Welcome, the last week of April. Somehow I have a feeling you will pass by pretty quickly and smoothly, which is exactly what I am hoping for.

And today, April 25th, I am 7 months older from my last birthday. 5 more months to another year older. Yay to that!

More updates soon. Tomorrow, I’m going to have a family dinner. I need to go home straight after school. Monday, Monday… be nice to me.

April Twenty-Fourth

2010-04-24T18:48:00.003+08:00

Today, the 24th, is my second brother’s birthday. So…

Happy 28th Birthday, Safik!

As everyone would have known by now, school had already started and a week had already past. I have 3 days of school per week, with Wednesday and Friday off. My Wednesdays are booked for final year project (FYP) meetings but soon, I would have to add another 2 days for FYP meetings because we would have to do testing on subjects. As for now, I am enjoying my 3-day weekend.

Last Friday, I went back to school and met up with Esna, since she had something for me. I will post up the picture of the thing she gave me at the end of this post later. Had lunch with her and Atiyah too. Atiyah surprised me by finishing her meal. She usually don’t finish meals, you see. Furthermore, she already had eaten earlier too. So okay, no big deal. Haha. What’s school without bumping into people, right? Some I am happy to see while there are some people whom I’d rather not see… or maybe the right sentence is, they do not want to see me. I just have to say this; it is really stupid when they left me no other choice but to ignore when in my opinion, everybody should just acknowledge each other and be happy. Seriously, that’s immature. To hell with it, I’m alright with my life and I am sure, others are too no matter what their situation is.

The bow clip that Esna bought for me. Love it. :)

Be Right Back.

2010-04-02T04:50:00.001+08:00

News flash:

I will be away for the weekend. I will be approximately 5 hours away from Singapore.

Take care, young ones.

This Is The Second Time.

2010-03-30T23:26:00.000+08:00

Met Nana today at Thomson to have early dinner. Then we waited for Mark for quite awhile. But Nana had to leave earlier to go to Khatib and we were supposed to meet her there later. But when Mark and I left the place, I was too full. My stomach felt so uncomfortable to a point where I wanted to puke. So Mark and I sat literally by the roadside and waited until I feel a little better.

For your information, I had prata bomb, mushroom and cheese prata, horlicks peng, and at a later part, I had an additional green tea after my horlicks peng had finished. I guess that additional drink is the last straw and it made me totally full. In the end, I had to go home, because I was sure I couldn’t be strong enough to ride the bus all the way to Khatib. This is the second time I felt this way. Too full to even talk, walk and breath. Heh! But this time I didn’t puke like a Merlion.

I felt bad for Nana, because I had to make a trip home. I hope we’ll meet again before school reopens, okay? I’m really sorry. But on the plus side when Mark and I was sitting by the roadside, we watched the moon rise. Yes, at the strangest places. But it was a full moon and it was really nice. Not something you’d get to see every night.

Can you spot the moon?

Here’s the close up of the moon.

Last but not least, I wish my parents a Happy 32nd Anniversary to them. And I wish them more happiness too. Hehehe. There are so many good things I can say about them, but if I were to write them here, it will be a full list. So let’s not waste my readers’ time, yes? But I do have a request. Mum and Dad, do take me on more holiday trips, thanks.

Mum & Dad.

Is Your Monday Good?

2010-03-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I woke up to an unexpected trip to the airport. Followed my parents to fetch my first brother with his wife, cause they just came back from Bali. Yeah, a lot of people went to Bali this month and last month. Tell me about it. Then we sent them to the in-laws house.

After that, we took a trip to the area near Kranji Reservoir. My parents wanted to check out this place called Bollywood Veggies. It’s set amidst the rustic splendour of the Kranji countryside. Countryside, yes, cause it’s covered with greeneries and is quite away of urban pollution. I think that this area is really a nice place to go, provided if you have your own vehicle. Now don’t go at night and try to seek “adventure”, as you’ll never know what’s lurking during the witching hour.

Halfway through the “countryside”, my nephew vomited in the car. God! Only God knows how much I couldn’t stand other people’s puke. I had to be strong, in order for myself to not puke too. Ever since I was young, I cannot smell other people’s vomit or I will vomit as well. Luckily, maybe because I had grown and I’m much stronger, I was able to stand it and even help clean it up a little.

I thought we could go home after this scenario but boy was I wrong! We still went to Jurong East to buy some stuffs. Fortunately, my brother gave us the t-shirts he bought for the nephews so my nephew changed his t-shirt at the toilet. And then everything went back to normal. I can’t believe I was strong enough to stand the vomit! It’s disgusting, I know.

Today, went to school to partake in GNK’s spring cleaning. Trust me, I am a lazy person back at home and my mum always makes noise on how lazy I was with cleaning. But hey, I’m sure I can do cleaning too, anytime when I want. It’s funny how some of us are so hardworking somewhere else but not at home. I guess that’s just human, aye?

Here’s Your Wishes.

2010-03-28T23:25:00.001+08:00

It has been a busy week; from having interview, to going out, to wishing and celebrating friend’s birthday. I have to say it has been an enjoyable ride. When I look back at this past week, it has been an awesome week. Filled with smiles and laughter, as well as new experiences. It’s safe to say that it is the best week of my school holiday.

To all my friends who celebrated their birthday this week, here’s a belated shout-out to all of you on my blog:

March 22nd: Happy 22nd Birthday, bestie! It’s such an awesome timing, for your age meets your birthdate. So, I hope 22nd will be such a great year for you.

March 24th: Happy birthday to Shiya and Hidayah. They turned 19 and 22, respectively.

March 25th: Happy half-birthday to me! You know what this means? I just turned 6 months older from my last birthday. And another 6 more months to my next birthday!

March 26th: Adawiya, congratulations on turning 21. Welcome to the early twenties, haha!

March 27th: Last but not least, Happy Birthday to Karen Chng! Happy 22nd!

formspring.me

2010-03-28T19:38:00.003+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/tinsane

What is your best experience being in RP and being in GNK?

2010-03-28T19:38:00.001+08:00

Best experience in RP? Having a laptop of your own, haha! Nah, kidding. I guess meeting lots of people and going through all the fun moments.

And in GNK? Getting to know all the funny funny people that makes me laugh non-stop, and also the opportunity to perform and learn lots of things about professionalism and how things work.

Ask me anything

did you ever regret befriending with someone?

2010-03-18T20:28:00.001+08:00

If it's for the better, no.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-03-18T19:59:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/tinsane

I Have To Sleep Tonight.

2010-03-15T00:51:00.001+08:00

I can’t believe I am hungry at this hour. It’s already past midnight. Don’t tell me I won’t be able to sleep again due to hunger? Last night was horrible, it was like a nightmare. I couldn’t fall asleep at all.

Yesterday’s weather was nice. I love the rain, no doubt about it. Dad wanted to bring us out to cycle but unfortunately, it rained. But fortunately for me, the weather started to settle down after 5pm so I went for my jog. It was good.

I really hope I could fall asleep later. I can’t be relying on a few hours sleep every morning. That just isn’t good for me. Tomorrow shall be my rest day, and I hope I will be spending time with my cousin and her kids outside. My cousin has another interview tomorrow, so she plans to bring her kids out. And I’ll be there to babysit the kids while she’s away. Yeah!

Until then, goodnight readers.

Yay! New Update!

2010-03-14T02:00:00.001+08:00

Alright, so it has already been a month. I’m sorry for my absence. Okay, I talk as if a lot of people read my blog.

Everyone should know by now I am already having my school holidays. I haven’t been out abroad for a real vacation yet. Soon, hopefully. I might be going KL this April, during my parents’ anniversary. I’m dying to go on vacations, as always. Times like this I wish I am a rock star, always travelling. But I’m not, and I could only rely on my parents right now.

I got rained on today, while jogging. It was fun jogging in the drizzle, until the rain had to fall really heavily at the last moments of my jog. So I had to quickly head to a shelter.

What else should I include? Oh, I made a video of myself singing this Korean song and I’m thinking of uploading it on YouTube. Well, should I?

Guess that’s all for now. I’ll update again soon!

Can You Hear Me Roar?

2010-02-14T02:11:00.001+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year to all!

Not forgetting my loved ones, Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! I may not say it often, or I may not say it to you ever, but, I love you. Even though we never talk often, or I may appear uninterested, but always, never forget, that you are in my mind and heart.

To all the lovers and couples out there, do not take your significant other for granted. Be appreciative of what you have.

I will be away tomorrow. For just one night. So, have an enjoyable weekend and holiday. Smile always.

My holiday is here. Finally! Not looking for a job, at the moment. Though I have a new mission, I should be earning cash and saving up cash. But not right now. This coming April, when school re-opens, I will be in my third year. I do hope I will be able to graduate on time. I do not want to repeat another year. So, I have to work really hard, again, in the next semester. Wish me luck!

Until then, goodnight, everyone.

A Quick One.

2010-02-09T08:23:00.001+08:00

Currently in a busy situation.

UT3 is in progress right now, so much focus is needed. (as if I really focus)

I will be back, I promise.

And in case you haven’t been updated, Goliath is fine now. Both of its eyes were able to open on its 10th month with us, which was on February 1st.

Wish me luck, everyone. Take good care of yourself.

formspring.me

2010-02-01T20:29:00.001+08:00

Beττer thαn fѻяmsprιng, try http://on ioning.com | gni

Well, I could give it a try. Thanks. I'm always open for new networking sites, though I'd end up deleting the account if I don't like it.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-01-26T15:41:00.001+08:00

What was the worst place you've traveled to?

Hmm... not too sure. But I do know some awesome places I've been to. Though it's nothing big.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-01-26T15:32:00.001+08:00

What was the worst advice you've ever received?

I think all those "advices" encouraging me to do bad things that are not worth for my future are the worst advice.

Ask me anything

Sunday Evenings, Depressing Moments.

2010-01-24T23:29:00.001+08:00

My stomach is upset right now. It all started after I ate a durian. It’s such an uncomfortable feeling. I hate this. I need to get rid of it.

On a happier scale, I reheated pasta from yesterday’s. Cooked it with eggs and white pepper. And top it off with cheese. Yummy! I bet you, you’re jealous.

Sunday evenings are the most depressing time of all universe. All because it’s a fact that Monday comes next and we all have to get back to school or work, respectively. I know I’m being melodramatic here but it’s true.

School is only left with two weeks but the closer it gets to the end, the longer it feels to get to the end. I just need to know I could get through this coming week, and say goodbye to January. And welcome February. I just got to take it one step at a time.

Goodnight, world. Until next time.

Goliath, Please Survive.

2010-01-21T01:08:00.001+08:00

I think I had finally had it for now. I am not going to promise myself but I told myself that I am not going to take in any more pets in 2010. More pets = more responsibilities. And they are piling up right now. What more when I need money for myself too; but when my pets fall ill or catch a disease and they need different foods, sometimes it really takes its toll on me. Forget about getting a rabbit real soon, forget about getting another Hammie real soon; I don’t need to add another point to my worried list.

The truth is, Goliath is sick now. I suspect it lacks of vitamin A. If it is not going to survive, I am going to cry. Please pray for it. I feel so bad and cruel now. I am always not prepared for the end. Goliath, please survive.

Typical Weekend.

2010-01-18T00:34:00.001+08:00

It was a boring Sunday. Stayed home all day. I have to say I’m addicted to my iPhone. Eheh!

Went out with my parents yesterday. Went to Mum’s friend’s house. There was a hamster and I took a few pictures of it.

Kinda makes me miss my Hammie.

I should get another jemput-jemput soon.

Just like Hammie, biting on its cage.

And I have another bonus picture!

Strong Mr. Spongebob. Lols!

Anyway, after going to my Mum’s friend’s house, we went to eat somewhere at Woodlands, before going to my cousin’s place for awhile. That was all for Saturday.

The ‘F’ on my laptop’s keyboard is F-ed up, literally. It sucks! And it’s a new week already. God! And my stomach’s not alright… and my world is spinning in my head. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Good night, guys!

First Part of the Ride.

2010-01-12T23:53:00.001+08:00

The sound of silence echoing in my ears sounds so much more beautiful sometimes, then the sound of tiny little screaming voices echoing in my ears. I don’t know how much longer I can stand this. I think I’m going crazy, sometimes even being stress over little things.

I will try to smile. I promise I will. Even if it hurts inside, or even if it’s hazy in my mind, I will try to be as bubbly as I used to be.

2010 is not going to be an easy year. I probably think it’s more of like a challenge for me. A challenge to see if I could survive. Even if I only slip through, but if I made it to the end, it’s good enough. 2010 is not going to be easy, and I trust myself on that.

Watch out, Tintin. You’re in and buckled up for a REAL ride. Though the buckles may not be as safe and secure, and the tracks are getting old and worn-out, fret not, because you will make it to the end safe and sound. Your hair may be messed up, you may puke and go dizzy, but you will still survive. Trust yourself that. Don’t forget to look left and right for the beautiful scenery when you’re moving slow, but the fast rides will go real fast, because you might not enjoy it, so it won’t be that bad. So when you reached the end, and you look back, the ride was worth it.

Until next time, lovelies.

Insert-Title-Here.

2010-01-09T21:18:00.001+08:00

I have been a little busy for the past few days, so I haven’t got the time to blog. Went for Gamelan training on Wednesday, as there was a committee meeting and attendance was compulsory. Congratulations to all those elected to the various positions. May GNK 2010 head to another awesome year, and achieve better outcome then the previous years.

On Thursday, I went out after school to have dinner with the awesome people – Mark, Nana, Esna and Danial. The five of us ate at Karu’s Curry, somewhere at Bukit Panjang. I had ‘thosai ghee paper’ and it was nice! After dinner, went over to The Rail Mall where we sat at Coffee Bean and had some chit-chat.

Yesterday, was another long day for me. Had Injury practical UT revision which ended at 6 something. Dropped by Junction 8 to settle something and by the time I was home at about 8, I was so tired and hungry. Best thing was, Mum cooked ‘kway teow goreng’ and it was my favourite. What a treat!

I’m still wondering if I’ll be able to get a new phone. With my Dad’s love for procrastination, it seems like I’ll never be able to get a new phone. Sigh! And the best part is, he said to me we’ll go to SingTel on Sunday, and that was LAST WEEK. Urgh!

Two UTs coming up next week, and I have yet to study. Monday’s UT was canceled (supposed to be Injury’s practical UT). I hope Sunday shall be interesting.

Warrior Dream-Walker.

2010-01-04T11:48:00.000+08:00

I plan to logout early tonight, so that I could concentrate on Misteri Jam 12. Also, hopefully I’ll be able to wake up early tomorrow morning to do the things that I want to do.

Watched Avatar with my nephew today. It was amazing! I enjoyed every minute of it. I even tear at some parts. I love how the movie puts me in situations where emotions are felt, and how I think and feel for the people too. I watched the 3D version so the graphics are definitely mind-boggling. And I love the total ownage of the ‘sky people’, proving you can’t always get what you want, despite thinking you have the power. The way of life of the ‘blue monkeys’ is also worth studying, if they ever existed.

Excuse my theory if you don’t agree with it. But I think that Avatar taught us that humans are never satisfied and they are forever greedy. They destroy things that are sacred and precious to others, but they never think of how important those things are to the people. Humans think that it is THAT simple but they don’t understand it. Humans are basically liars, betrayers, and destroyers. Having the best machines or latest technologies does not necessarily make you bigger, better and smarter. It could just make you selfish and ignorant. And that is definitely sad to the human race. How ashamed I would be. Humans destroy the properties of others, and when the people want it protected and fought back, humans believe in terror fighting ‘terror’. It’s just wrong when you try to take the properties of others with force and terror. And when the people fought back, you call that ‘terror’? Ignorant humans! What a shame! They ought to be pointed to the mirror when they talk about terror and violence.

But lastly, another thing I learnt from Avatar, NEVER GIVE UP! Even though hope may look frail, and prayers so often prove in vain; just keep believing. You may just succeed. :)

Some Luck and Prayer.

2010-01-03T20:54:00.002+08:00

I feel like I could kill myself right now. Just stab my own heart and end this nausea. It’s back to school tomorrow and only God knows how much I’m hating it. I really don’t want to go to school. It’s not the people that I don’t like, it’s the things that I had to go through. It’s such a bummer, I swear it feels like it to me. I’m only left with 6 weeks of school but it feels so god damn long to me. I’m not sure if I can cope with it. If I fail myself, and especially you, please forgive me. I don’t really have the strength to carry on at this moment. Right now, just to think of going through one day feels like a week to me. How am I even able to go through one week? Wish me some luck, I really need some.

This is belated but HAPPY NEW YEAR! It’s 2010, I kind of can’t believe it. I wasn’t overly excited for 2010, but I can’t say I don’t look forward to what’s in store for me. But what’s first on my list is romance. Romance in 2010. Doesn’t it sounds nice? I hope to bump into romance, and be content with what it can do for me.

I’m going to try to blog often too. I know I’ve said it a couple of times, and it’s not such an easy thing to do. But I’m going to try. I guess the most important word for me in 2010 shall be ‘try’. Who knows, I shall write a review of every month on how the month has been for me. And, I was just thinking, maybe 2010 could be the year where old habits die, and new habits are cultivated. Habits are hard to break, but like I said, there’s always the word ‘try’. And new habits does not always mean good habits. It could be any habit.

Alright, I’ll update again soon. Wish me luck for the next 6 weeks! I want to feel like I deserve the next vacation, but in order to do that, I really have to be firm on myself. And I know I can’t do that, because I’m weak right now. So, all the best to me. I shall be random to take silly things off my mind and chest.

Older By 2 Months.

2009-11-25T23:11:00.001+08:00

I am 21 years, 2 months older today.

Officially.

Sharing Some Things.

2009-11-24T23:43:00.002+08:00

Not sure if its true, but it sure is an interesting fact if it is. Next time when you cry, check which eye your tears are coming from.

I’m positive I’m an introvert myself and I have to agree with some of the points above. Please treat introverts wisely. For goodness sake, please respect my privacy.

You’re Beautiful.

2009-11-18T22:25:00.001+08:00

Okay, so let’s blog!

Today was the end of my last UT1. I felt relieved. Starting tomorrow, I don’t have to worry about having to stay behind and crack my brain.

Currently, my niece and I are addicted to another Korean Drama called “You’re Beautiful”. It’s pretty much like a behind-the-scenes life of an idol group – A.N.JELL. They’re a band in this show. But there’s a twist. I love the show and I can’t help it but to say I can’t resist Jang Geun Suk, who played the role as Hwang Tae Kyung. I love his character!

The character Hwang Tae Kyung is the one on the far left.

Hwang Tae Kyung; far right.

Hear Me Say.

2009-11-04T23:18:00.001+08:00

I’ve been sick this week. Monday, my gum hurts. Probably due to my still growing wisdom tooth. Tuesday, I had a bad sore throat and I had to skip the class’ third meeting. I can’t talk much, it felt as though somebody slit my throat from the inside. And today, I skipped school entirely, because I was still unwell. There a new addition to my list of sickness too. Phlegm had begun to form. And it sucks. So I had skipped two Gamelan trainings for this week only, and it’s not done on purpose.

What I’m glad about is that I’m sick only after the Reflections show. Another thing I’m glad about is that Kirana – the Ray of Light ended before the UT season. Now I don’t have to worry about two things at one go. I’m done with one UT, which was Sports & Exercise Psychology. Tomorrow will be Sports & Exercise Physiology. Good luck to that! After tomorrow, 3 more UTs coming up in 2 weeks time.

GNK Reflections show over!

A picture for our show booklet.

When the show’s done. With all the crew. :)

Beginning To Not Like Sundays.

2009-10-25T20:30:00.001+08:00

I have to say that I am feeling so bored. When I thought it was only 7 something in the evening, I was shocked when I realised it’s already 8 o’clock. Man, I’m so bored!

When I go to school tomorrow, it is going to be a long and busy week. Why? Because GNK’s show is this Thursday. Yet again, since it’s going to be busy, I’m hoping it will pass by very fast. Can I just slip through this week? Maybe I won’t be doing so well. All that is in my mind right now is December. I can’t wait for school vacation.

Today is October 25th. Know what that means? I turn 21 years and 1 month old. Yes, I am a month older. I hope things will get better, even though things are going alright.

Yesterday, my niece and I (with my nephew tagging along) went to Plaza Singapura in hopes to catch Lee Min Ho. Unfortunately, he did not make an appearance because the event was cancelled. It was all due to security reasons because there was just too many people there. Look how big of a star he is! I’ll be posting the link below so you can read the article on his hectic day in Singapore.

Click here: Lee Min Ho's hectic day in Singapore - 24/10/2009

Kirana – the Ray of Light; 4 more days.

And Yet You Want To Cure Patients.

2009-10-22T12:58:00.001+08:00

I was feeling pissed this morning after seeing the doctor. I bet he thinks I’m faking it and only wants MC. I admit, I don’t have a fever but feeling unwell does not necessarily means you have every symptom of a sick person, right? Well doctor, with that kind of attitude, you’re never going to cure a patient. Trust me, there’s not a lot of people visiting that clinic anymore. I miss the previous doctor, whose care and patience meant a lot to all. Sadly he got transferred to a hospital. I wanted to swear to myself that I’m never going to see this doctor again but I know that won’t happen. With every chance I could avoid from going there again, I would. God damn it, doctor, you look more like a sick bastard.

Kirana – the Ray of Light; 7 more days.

Hot Wednesday.

2009-09-30T13:36:00.001+08:00

I haven’t been blogging since my birthday. Had been a little occupied with stuffs and I haven’t got the time to update. I do have a couple of things to say.

A day after my birthday, I went to Malaysia with my parents, cousin and her two brats. We went to Malaka on Saturday and spent a night there, and head over to Muar on Sunday. While in Malaysia, I realised that I don’t really have the urge to have Boys Over Flowers OST anymore. The feeling just isn’t there anymore. Instead, what I really want is to have SS501’s albums! So, get it for me, anyone?

On Monday, head back to school for gamelan training. One of the longest trainings I had, 7 hours straight. Well, of course there are breaks in betweens. But at the end of it, I surrendered cause my body was so tired. After training, went to Nabilah’s house for visiting and I got collection! Haha, okay, that wasn’t needed.

My cat Kiara had been gaining weight, it seems. She already weighs 3 kg. And I’m sure she’ll be adding on the weight. Awesome!

Lastly, I feel like I have so many things to buy but some are not necessary at the moment. We’ll see how I can curb my spending, heh.

Alright, have fun everybody!

Twenty-One.

2009-09-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen,

Let me announce,

On this day,

I turn... TWENTY ONE!

Time flies when you’re having fun;

I wake up, another year is gone;

I’m twenty-one!

Official Countdown.

2009-09-18T17:57:00.000+08:00

SEVEN

...more days to 21!

So, shall I make a countdown every day?

Saturday Quick Update.

2009-09-12T13:51:00.002+08:00

I have jamming at 430pm today at Daisy Rock. Sadly I’m not going to break fast outside though. I don’t want my mum to be saying that I’m not appreciative of people cooking at home again. So no matter how late I’ll be, I will eat at home. Before I go get ready and change, I’m leaving some videos.

It’s two videos of Jaebum’s departure from Korea and arriving in Seattle. The Seattle video has this song that is nice and I was wondering what song is it. I just thought that it was sad that he left; just as I was about to get to know 2PM better.

Jaebum leaving Korea.

Jaebum arriving in Seattle. I hope he’ll come back!

The Week.

2009-09-11T03:08:00.002+08:00

The last weekend was over and it was rather eventful. Went for the Happy Tots thingy at Plaza Singapura with my cousin and her children but we didn’t stay long. It was just too crowded and my cousin isn’t a fan of crowds. My other relatives were there too. We bid them farewell and went to Orchard. Finally I’ve been to Orchard Ion and I have to say it’s huge. We didn’t really walk the whole mall but just happen to be inside. My little nephews had late lunch at McDonald’s and then we head home.

On Sunday, I met my girls – Tin Tin & the Backgrounds. Haha, is that really our new band name? Anyway, Ad fetched me at Pasir Ris and drove to Changi Airport. We had dinner from Popeye’s but sat at the viewing gallery. After some time, head over to terminal 1 for Shai had to meet her friend who’s flying to Australia for attachment. We finally went home, with Shai going on separate ways with her boyfriend and the rest of us head to the carpark because Ad sent Kaye and me to Pasir Ris. When we’ve reached Pasir Ris, Ad the crazy woman driver kept jam-breaking that I thought I was going to flew out of the car. Hahaha! But it isn’t her fault; Kaye was calling her “aunty”, like she’s the taxi driver. Too funny! I reached home near midnight.

Had gamelan practices on Tuesday and Wednesday but managed to stay home on Monday and Thursday. It feels good to be home, although that does not necessarily mean I was at peace. And later on Friday, we have a meeting with the TRCC people. Man, I feel the pressure.

Yesterday, about six something in the morning, I wanted to fall asleep and out of a sudden I had this bad experience. I woke up feeling scared to fall back to sleep, despite my eyes feeling so heavy. It’s been a long time since I had that experience. And right now, I have to admit I don’t want to fall asleep. Of course, without my knowledge yesterday, I did fell asleep... peacefully this time.

By the way, I added another thing to my wish list. I want a soccer ball. And, Kaye told me she'll get me one of the OST from Boys Over Flowers. I told her to get me the one that comes with the poster. Wee!

The Obligation to Update.

2009-09-05T03:34:00.002+08:00

It’s 3 in the morning and I feel the obligation to update my blog. Although there is nothing much to say, I just feel the need to update something.

I haven’t told anyone that I had been having weird dreams. From having one of my friends dead to going back alive, to going somewhere with a group of friends and getting into some kind of trouble. My dreams are getting weirder every sleep or nap I got.

On Wednesday, there was something wrong with my phone. The songs I uploaded wouldn’t appear in the music player. I had to painstakingly go to the file manager to play the songs that I wanted to hear. I had to resort to formatting my memory card and now everything’s going fine.

Now that it’s September, I kind of looked back on the past year and remember what things that had happen. I realised that there were some interesting things that had happen. I shall not dwell on it right now because it isn’t important for now. I’m just trying to make this update brief because I really want to catch a nap before I have another meal.

Lastly, I get to break fast with my GNK darlings, Atiyah and Sella on Tuesday. Then on Wednesday, break fast with my peeps Mark, Nana, Adam and Azhar. From Beach Road, we travelled all the way to Bugis area there to sit and chill at some sheesha place. I reached home after midnight. The next day, I had to cancel my plan to break fast with my year one, first semester classmates due to certain reasons. I’m sorry that I had to tell you guys last minute.

Alright then, other exciting things to catch up this weekend! I’ll update you with that as soon as it ends.

Happy September!

2009-09-02T03:39:00.002+08:00

HAPPY SEPTEMBER, people!

I’ve been told over and over again to update my blog, so here I am. Honestly, there are a lot of things on my mind that I could say it here but being a typical blogger, I usually have the same old reasons. I’m lazy and whenever I want to update, my mind just went blank. Apologies for that.

Latest update about me is that I had been bitten by the Korean bug. This isn’t some normal bug. My condition is serious. It is up to a point that I am crazy over a Korean male. I’ve been watching Boys Over Flowers during my UT period and it actually relieves my stress. Currently I’ve been staying up late, watching reality shows that the male starred in. Ahh... the goodness of Youtube.

Let’s not forget that I love music so what’s life without Korean music? I’m confessing that KPop is the next big thing after western music. To be frank, I haven’t been listening to western songs. And liking Korean boybands is also nothing to be ashamed of. Now, there you go, the severity of my Korean fever.

Before I end this entry, do remember that it’s already September. That could only mean ONE thing. My birthday is coming! It’s just around the corner! Look out for more updates on my birthday wish list! Yes, I am so thick skin like that.

And I remember last year the reason why I started blogging again. It is to countdown my 20^th birthday. Laugh out loud, people! That was so 2008.

Another Passing Weekend.

2009-08-02T23:52:00.002+08:00

I swear I couldn’t think of anything else to write about on this blog...

My weekend was a breeze and it’s a chill. I guess it’s a good weekend. Nothing to rush for, nothing to feel pressurised of; it’s basically my own time, own target. Friday night, I ended up sleeping at 5 something in the morning. It’s a result of no official plan, so I reckoned I might as well stay up and catch up on episodes I’ve missed online. On Saturday night, had dinner with the family and my brother’s in-laws. Had dinner at Mak’s Place at Kembangan. There was a lot of food and I think everyone’s stomach was filled with happiness and satisfaction.

Tonight, went to pasar malam with my Dad, niece and my 3-year-old nephew. A fan of Boys Over Flowers, my niece bought a poster of BOF at one of the stalls. We bought a stick of chicken seaweeds, cheese hotdog and Ramlee burger and if you guessed it right, yes I was full. The last time there was a pasar malam at my area, was during my brother’s wedding. That pasar malam was better, I should say.

Tomorrow is the start of a new week. Yeah, all over again. I wonder what’s in store for me, for all of us. I guess the future’s for us to find out.

Don't Call Your Mother.

2009-08-01T02:11:00.003+08:00

How long has it been since I last blogged? Almost a month, yeah? Been quite busy and not to forget, sometimes when I wanted to update, I get really tired. My eyes felt heavy like it’s carrying a tonne of weight and I’d most definitely fall asleep.

Last night was horrible though. It has been a habit of mine to feel sleepy once the clock hits 10pm. So last night at 10 something, I began closing my eyes in front of the laptop. I tried to stay awake, occasionally slipping back to reality. I was told by my cousin that I even snored. God, I must be so tired! In the end, once it hits midnight, I logged out of MSN, closed my laptop without shutting it down, turned around and tried to watch the television. The next thing I know, I woke up the next morning and late for school.

How sweet! I didn’t even shut the laptop down. My mother had to keep my laptop in her room. When I reached class, I realised that the battery had died. My goodness, I was so horrible last night.

Latest update: I had sent Kiara for sterilisation. She seems rather skinnier now and for this weekend, I’ll make sure she eats! I hope she’ll gain back the pounds, or even gain more pounds afterwards.

Beware! Long Update Ahead.

2009-07-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

I have a lot to update. Quite a few things had happen since my last post. Last week, my LOA was supposed to end on Thursday but it got extended to Friday. Looking back, I can’t believe I missed school for a week. I just came back to school this Monday.

A quick update of what happen last weekend, including Friday night. On my last day of LOA, I went out to the Robinson’s Sale at Expo. I was told by my brother that there are inline skates for sale. That night, I met up with my brother and his two friends. Sella tagged along too. I bought an inline skates at a price below 60 bucks. Trust me, I’m a newbie so I don’t need expensive skates.

For the earlier part of Saturday, my niece and I practiced on the skates. She doesn’t have one so we took turns using mine. I had never own a pair of inline skates so it made sense that I had never really tried playing with it. Except for once or twice I tried on other people’s skates. All I had ever been enjoying something that’s close to rollerblading was ice skating. So when I tried on my very own pair of skates, practicing and getting use to it came almost easy. It’s like second nature. No, I still need time to get season to it though. My feet get tired very easily.

For the later part of Saturday, I brought my niece out to shop at Bugis. The stuffs at Bugis Street didn’t really catch my attention. I was vaguely disappointed with how things went because there was almost nothing that I wanted to spend my moolah on. I ended up buying accessories only.

Having felt so tired by the time night falls on Saturday, I thought I wanted to bail when Sunday morning comes. I had plans to go rollerblading with my brother and his friends. I decided to just go ahead, and not break my promise. Lucky Dad sent us to East Coast Park or I’d be left crying. Okay, I’m kidding, it’s not that dramatic. Spend almost the whole day at the park and I was so tired! Such a shame I had to come back to school the next day.

When Monday comes, I went out with Mark and Nana after school. It was actually unexpected. First, we ate at Popeye’s Chicken. Then we had ice cream at Gelatissimo. Then we had this idea of checking out Singapore Flyer. In the end, we bought the student price weekday special tickets. I’m afraid of heights, I tell you. But no matter what situation I’m in, I always try to put up a brave front, even if it fails. I don’t dare to stand up at first but after awhile, I did! Next time, I’ll try to walk around. After Singapore Flyer, we went to Clarke Quay and sat at Nectarie le'Dessert Patisserie. I had ice minty mocha and we three shared the waffle with chocolate syrup. Yummy!

On Tuesday, I took half a day off from school. I wasn’t feeling good. I was feeling drowsy the whole time and I felt like vomiting. I know I wouldn’t be of good use or I might just faint so I decided to go home.

And today, I went to Ikea (Tampines) with Mark, Adam and Fyzzah. It was great eating and chatting with them. But boys, it’s back to school tomorrow! No more staying home!

Goodnight for now! I love you, readers.

E-Learning Isn't Relaxing.

2009-06-29T21:34:00.000+08:00

It’s a school day but at 9am, I was still in bed. Why? I am on leave of absence. I received an SMS from the school on Saturday informing me that I was on LOA with effect from that day. When they sent me the SMS, I was outside. But since yesterday, I haven’t been out. It’s getting boring.

My first day of e-learning was kind of stressful. Logging in to VPN makes the Internet goes very slow. It was frustrating. I’d rather be in school and with everything going smoothly. I had to keep refreshing the discussion forum too, so as to keep updated with the posts. Other than that, you have to do your own first meeting template and worksheet on your own. And complete the quiz and RJ, at the end of the day. Good luck to you if you did not do your own research or ask around.

The best thing about being on LOA is, knowing that you don’t have to wake up early and trouble yourself to go to school. The feeling of contentment is there and you know you like the feeling.

I almost forgot to add that the school called me too, just to check on me if I’m feeling okay. They did not only call once but twice. First on my handphone and second, a call to my house. Did they call my house just to check if I’m at home? That I did not go out and have fun? Now that’s silly.

I think I should take this LOA thing with ease. It’s not that hard to stay relax, isn’t it? I know a lot of people out there who would beg to get LOA so, I should be happy. You can say I am resting at home but it doesn’t really feel like a rest. We should all hang in there. I’m taking each hour at a time.

David Will Rest Peacefully.

2009-06-28T19:19:00.002+08:00

I am here to announce that my red-ear slider, David, had been pronounced dead. He was named Godzilla last week with the belief that it will start growing as big as its buddy, Goliath. It hasn’t been eating for about a month and it seems like it was sick. Weak, vulnerable and anti-social, it had finally leaved its sadness and sorrows behind. When we first got it, it was the monster. Ripping live prawns into shreds and accidentally biting Goliath’s hand. I thought it was abusing its power, as it was stronger back then. Unfortunately, David did not kill the giant Goliath, as it goes in the bible story.

No, I wasn’t trying to make my terrapins fight. I just happen to name them David and Goliath. I’m guessing Goliath is female so it grew big faster. It’s a giant, compared to David.

Rest in peace, David. You were once a strong terrapin whom I admired. =)

DAVID

1/4/09 – 28/6/09

Tomorrow Is A Different Day.

2009-06-25T23:49:00.000+08:00

For the past two nights, I had been falling asleep quite fast. I tried not to sleep too early and hold on to my senses that would stay awake. I had taken some drugs for my migraine on Wednesday and they started to kick in a few hours later. I had to tap out to staying awake and succumbed to my heavy eyes and soon to be unconscious mind.

Not much had happened lately except for the kids coming home on Tuesday. This house is no longer too quiet for me. It’s back to normal with unbearable sounds of screaming kids. Not forgetting, constant fighting and arguing with my oh-so-rude niece. Nevertheless, I’m glad to have my dysfunctional big family back.

So much had been happening in school too. Both interesting and some might say unfair news. Life has to move on, people. We’re not the ones to make the choice. Just hope for something bad to happen and you’ll get what you want. Be careful of what you wish for though, kids.

Today, I officially turn 20 years and 9 months old. 3 more months to my 21^st birthday. Yet, there are two pending birthday parties for my friends. Oh dear.

Nothing much to say for now and it’s finally Friday tomorrow.

Because I Love You.

2009-06-22T23:41:00.002+08:00

Once again, Kiara my little darling scared the shits out of me. I caught her walking on the window’s ledge a while ago. I had to lure her back inside with her favourite canned food.

After the Ciko falling incident some years back, it got me weak whenever I see my cats showing off their balancing skills on the window’s ledge. Ciko’s fall was so terrible that I thought it was not going to make it. Stronger was I back then but the incident had made me more careful and a little more protective towards my cats. Kitty, the eldest so far, may have more experience sitting on the ledge but as for Kiara, she’s new. She hasn’t experience any falls yet and I’m making sure that it is never going to happen.

I cannot bear to see her hurt like the others from falling. Judging from past experiences, my emotions are definitely getting more fragile. As much as they are getting stronger in some situations, they are getting weaker in some other places too. It’s like give and take. You earn some and you lose some.

Kiara my baby, please don’t jolt me with your wild antics again. I cannot afford to see you hurt. And if you were to be sent to the hospital, I don’t have enough moolah. Run and jump into as many high places as you want in the house, but never jump onto the window’s ledge ever again. That is the reason why I have to keep you in the cage at night. It’s all for your own good.

I love you, my black beauty.

Leaving This Untitled.

2009-06-21T23:17:00.001+08:00

It’s already been two weeks past by brother’s wedding. Marriage had gotten him living at the wife’s place. He hasn’t been home a lot and I can feel the difference it made to the environment of the house. He did come back though, once in awhile.

So, yeah, I haven’t been updating this blog. So many things had been said and done. A lot of things had happened. Good and bad; life still got to go on. But we’re all holding on. I hope we all won’t stop holding on.

School had started one week ago and I skipped one lesson. I was having migraine and until now, I think there’s something wrong with me. I can’t bear to skip any training for my IG this week because we have two shows scheduled for this week. I’m getting excited about it.

If I’m ever in the mood to update this blog, I will do so. The only last thing I would like to say is that people can be deceiving.

Goodnight.

Some Thoughts In My Head.

2009-05-24T23:45:00.000+08:00

Every night I went to sleep, in hopes to have a good dream. But even when I had a bad dream, I could still heave a sigh of relief, knowing that it was only a dream and I can put all the fears behind.

Unfortunately, some things don’t. Things that happen in reality. Upon knowing that, I felt a sudden weight on my shoulders.

Too many things going on at the same time. I don’t want to be thinking too much. I’m glad it’s the last week of school. Looking forward to some rest.

Respect Me.

2009-05-01T18:46:00.000+08:00

I have a confession.

I have a problem with people who makes fun of the things I love.

I won’t hesitate to shut you out, just like how I broke up with a guy who pokes fun at my cats. Call me too serious, but you’re the insensitive one. I don’t have time to entertain or be patient about it.

It’s about respect. My high level of tolerance is running thin every passing year.

So try me.

Some Things Gotta Change.

2009-04-30T00:09:00.003+08:00

I’m saying goodbye to everything now before it’s too late.

1) Don’t expect me to be online late at night anytime soon.
2) I won’t be able to entertain your emails if you needed my reply as soon as possible.
3) I will miss the convenience of the Internet pretty soon.

As dramatic as can be, I’m tired of trying to not care. I feel like I’m using up a lot of my energy to just pretend like the little things don’t bother me. At the rate I’m going, I feel like I’m losing grip and losing touch on a lot of the things and people. And I didn’t mean to.

Everything that’s happening from home to school, I feel like the weight on my shoulders is gaining. I feel the strain on my body; physically and mentally. Maybe saying goodbye and the chance to be able to hide real soon would do a little trick. I just have to adjust to changes. Get everything settled in school, and went home feeling easy. The only headache I might be getting is from the noise at home but that is only minimal, compared to the work from school if I decide to finish them at home.

I don’t know when exactly the change will be implemented and how long exactly will it be. Things are not going to be easy for me. Everything that’s going to happen soon, may everything went well. Thanks for being there for me for all these times and keeping me company. I won’t be as active online as I am now real soon.

What Hurts The Most.

2009-04-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

Imagine you have a thirteen year old son and he cuts himself. You got a call from the teacher counsellor and she told you some things. No matter how well you think you know your son, there’s always a side of him that he’ll always keep it to himself. A side of him so dark that you’ll hardly notice it’s around. Something that you’ll never know exists; but it does.

The only thing that you want right now is the truth. To be able to read his mind might lift some weight off your shoulders. And ease the worrying and the pain that your mind is carrying. Sadly, you know it’s never that simple. He said to you that it was just a dare but deep in your thoughts, you worry if there might be something else.

You know what hurts the most? To have your loved one making you cry.

Maybe if my parents found out things that I had done that they had never known, maybe it hurt that much.

Life Has Its Own Little Way.

2009-04-07T23:23:00.003+08:00

My Sunday was almost ruined by an unenergetic and almost solemn jamming session. Little did I know that, the day was about to change by a series of unexpected incidents. Being human, you really wouldn’t know what’s coming into your path.

I was told by my nephew that I won a claypot rice cooker as I was on my way home. What’s a claypot rice cooker? It’s a slow cooking rice cooker. Imagine a normal rice cooker, just that the thing inside, or the bottom of it, is something made of ceramic.

The box.

That ceramic thing.

Once I was home, I heard that my Dad is going to send my first brother to work. My second brother then suggested that we should go to Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits at the airport, since we are going there. You see, my second brother seems to have been craving for Popeye’s food since a couple of weeks ago. So we got ready and get change and during the process, a relative whom we haven’t seen in awhile came without any notice. He always does that. He would appear at our door unannounced. But it’s great to seem after a long time. So the family chit-chat with him for about an hour or so. Then we left for airport!

After sending off my brother at T2, we went to Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits at T3. We had such a scrumptious dinner there. I knew I was enjoying my dinner because I was so hungry. I hadn’t eaten a meal all day. When the rest of the family had finished their part, I was still nibbling on my food. As I was about to finish, I saw Esna’s sister walking in towards the counter. Esna’s nephew was hiding behind the wooden panel and he saw me. As I smiled at him, he gave me that cute smile and ran off. Oh my god, kids look so naughty.

At the end of the day, I realised that a few turn of events can change your day; be it good or bad. I know I ended the day knowing I was a happy child.

Today was a mix of everything. I know for a fact that I was lonely today. Apart from my Dad, nephew, niece and I, the rest of the family went across the border to settle some stuffs. I was left alone at home to take care of the house and keep an eye on my nephew and niece when they got home. If there were nobody at home, they wouldn’t be able to come in because they don’t have the house keys with them. To be exact, they weren’t given.

If it weren’t for my ordered tops getting delivered here, my day would have been much dull. I ordered three tops online and I received all of them today. I was in high spirit. I tried them on and I like how they fit on me and I was so pleased. And when my Dad got home in the evening, I got to know that my necklace had also reached! Yes, I was excited. I’ve been waiting for it.

By noon, I still haven’t eaten anything. I thought of getting my food through home delivery but after searching for what to cook online, I ended up cooking egg-fry fried rice. It’s so much better than having to spend my money.

I skipped IG training today because I had to stay home. Last night, I was told that there’s a meeting and obviously, I couldn’t attend it. The rest of the family was home late and I don’t have enough time to attend the meeting on time. I was telling myself this last night. When I am so free, that I don’t have anything on, there weren’t things to settle. But when I’m busy, or when I usually have other plans, alot of things would start appearing and being thrown at you. Life is so unfair. It is, in fact, a bitch.

Surprise, Surprise!

2009-03-29T02:40:00.000+08:00

It’s already past midnight now so it’s already Sunday. Here’s what’s happening in my house now. I can still hear the volume from the television in my parents’ room. Both my brothers aren’t home. My first brother; I don’t know where he went. Probably at his fiancée’s house. My second brother told my mother that he will be home late. I’m guessing he’ll only be home at 3 o’clock, like the other day when he reached like 30 minutes after me.

So late on Saturday night, I was driving myself crazy because I felt so bored. Suddenly I feel like I don’t have a social life. Yeah, I haven’t been out and about hanging out with my friends. Okay, no, the last time I met my friends was on Tuesday, when I had to go back to school. I need another real hang-out. Somebody plan, please? I’m tired of planning.

I want to start making my birthday list. My birthday is like 6 months away and I’m thinking that the sooner, the better. It’s my 21st birthday, so bear with me. I just know that my birthday this year wouldn’t fall on a fasting month. So yeah, all hell will break lose. Okay, I don’t think so. It wouldn’t be that bad. I’m not asking for some booze and cigarettes but just a perfect hang-out on my birthday. Look over on the left side of this page; I’m setting up a birthday wish list space. Hover over the words to go over to the link and see what I’m talking about. Make it possible!

What?! Two More Weeks?!

2009-03-28T02:14:00.003+08:00

My Friday was somewhat productive, in its own little way. One reason was that I fought my laziness and chase after my urge to run. So I ran today, despite my complaints of a sore arm. I have to remind myself that I wasn’t like this last time. Polytechnic life is such a bummer. It felt like I’m working 9 to 5.

Second reason was because I manage to meet the dateline and finish the tasks that I was assigned to do. That wasn’t easy but I know that other people have a harder task. Therefore, I shall not talk too much.

I am hoping that I might be able to meet my goal for next week. My parents’ anniversary is next week; time is running out, as well as my cash flow. How am I going to survive? My only hope is when school reopens, and then I will get allowance.

I had a plan with Esna to go to a flea market on Friday night but I had to skip it. My mother needed me at home and also, I need to save my money. I need this money for something that’s coming up next week, and I don’t want to be tempted by the cheap stuffs at the flea market. I might just end up buying too many things.

Anyway, there is one video that I wanted to put here but I can't embed it. So I shall leave the link here. Click here to view the video! It's a bloody fat cat, I tell you. Too cute!

I Know I'm Not Alone.

2009-03-27T01:50:00.000+08:00

I’ve been rather busy these few days. I was back from Sabah last week on Friday. Went to Esli’s birthday party on Saturday and spent my Sunday mostly outside. My niece had a storytelling challenge at SPH. Though she didn’t get into the finals, I thought her team did well. Good job girls! Now I hope my niece would concentrate on her studies as she’s taking PSLE this year.

Had another meeting with the TRCC staffs and then IG training on Tuesday. After that, I was busy with lots of stuffs. Got Photoshop and I was playing around with it, trying to get to know it better. I hadn’t got the time to play Pet Society and many other applications on Facebook since then. One thing completely done, another thing still pending and yet, I still have so many other things to do! Datelines are coming closer. Ooh, I’m so scared. Haha. Well, I am quite worried.

I have quite a lot of pictures to update but I haven’t got the time. I promise though, that I will put up some pictures soon. If not here, it’ll be uploaded in my Facebook account. Or MySpace account, though I’m not quite as active there as I once was.

I will update again soon. Goodnight!

On My Last Night.

2009-03-17T00:45:00.003+08:00

I’m thinking of spending my last night by staying up. Even though I’ll be away for only a couple of days, there will be some things that I am going to miss. The convenience of my laptop, my friends and especially, my black beauty – Kiara.

Don’t worry about me. Enjoy your time and have fun without me. I will be back by weekend, promise.

Hopefully, I’ll bring back some stuff. As well as pictures to share with you guys. I don’t know if I’ll be having any holiday infatuation. Hear my stories when I come back! You know me. *wink wink*

Last weekend, had a shopping spree with Esna on Saturday. I bought a babydoll dress, a bag and two tops. I wanted so much to buy the iPanema sandals but I was too reluctant to buy them with my own money. Guess what? The next day, my Dad bought them for me. I was very glad! Now I have what I wanted so much. Awesome!

Suddenly it feels so hard to be parted from my love. She had always been something that I look forward to when I go home. When I was working, everyday, she will be the first thing that came to my mind when I’m going home. Even when I went out during this school holiday, she is always on my mind. I had my fun but when it’s all over, she will be there to remind me that I have a home to come back to. And when I’m home, when I see that she’s not in her cage, free to roam the house to find her little adventures, I feel a sense of satisfaction. Because I just know that she’s happy. I’m not trying to make this a big deal but when you love someone, even your pet, you know how hard it is to be parted from your dearest.

Yes I want to enjoy my vacation with my parents. I want to remove all the toxic in my brain when I’m there. Hopefully when I come back, I know I had my fun and will be ready for a new school term. Deep in the corner of my heart, I know I never want the new school term to start. Esna would get what I mean. But we have to keep moving. So I got to get a hold of it.

And on my last night, she let me hold her. Without struggle, she allows me to embrace her in my arm. I love you, Kiara. Be good and defend yourself. You’re a ninja cat, remember that. Eat well too, don’t play too much and forget your meals. =)

The mess that she makes, just like a child.

A Little Too Not Over You.

2009-03-12T22:54:00.002+08:00

I know I’ve said that I’m back in the game but lately, I’ve been lazy. I’m sorry. Not that I want to contradict my words but sometimes, I just don’t know what to talk about.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus was my first concert in 2009. It wasn’t that bad. The crowd where I was standing at was a little motionless when A Vacant Affair performed. Yes, they open for the concert but their set at Live ‘n’ Loaded was so much better.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus set was decent. Although I do not like the sound system because I couldn’t really hear the vocals as it sounded muffled, I thought that Ronnie was good live, as mentioned by Esli. The band rocks too, especially at the end, when they smashed their guitar and threw their crash set. The lighting was great. The duration of the concert was short though, in my opinion. Personally, I do enjoy myself at some parts because when they play the songs where you could jump, I did just that. Sorry to the people around me because I’m sure I pretty much shove them around because I want to enjoy the music!

There were two songs that I regretted for not listening to them before the concert. They were “Cat and Mouse” and “Damn Regret”. When I got the album, I was so addicted to the song. Until my mp3 couldn’t be used anymore, I had to limit my music when I started using my handphone to listen to songs. Therefore, I stopped listening to my two favourite songs. I was kind of frustrated that I couldn’t remember the lyrics when they play the songs. It’s okay though.

One thing that I thought was overrated was “Your Guardian Angel”. I understand that it is such a beautiful song but listening to the crowd keep requesting for it, especially the people around me, it left me an impression that they were only there to hear them play it. They so can’t wait for RJA to play it. Nothing wrong with that but I just thought it was overrated. However, I enjoy singing along, right Ad?

Goodnight!

If My Stomach Could Explode.

2009-03-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

I am feeling so full right now. Let’s do a recap of what I ate today. At noon, I ate two slices of toast. After jamming, I ate one double cheeseburger at MacDonald’s. Once I got home, I ate one kinder joy, the newer version of “kinder surprise”. Right after that, I ate two slices of pizza that my Dad ordered. I almost forgot that I bought a banana Oreo bubble tea on my way home. Yes, I drink the weirdest thing on Earth. Later at night, as I was watching TV, I ate a small plate of sambal goreng followed by two corn sticks. Wow! I sure ate lots of food today. Sunday is such a sinful day.

Gamelan performance at Asian Civilization Museum tomorrow; an event for the New York University convocation/graduation ceremony. This is something new for me. I’m pretty excited for it. I hope it’ll be a wonderful event where everything will go smoothly. It’s going to be fun! At least I hope it’ll be.

I’m going on a holiday on the 3rd week of March. I’m going to Sabah this time. Isn’t it fun that last year I went to Sarawak and this year, I’m going to its neighbouring country? From the information I’ve received so far, we will be staying in a resort at the foot of Mt. Kinabalu and we will also be doing snorkeling. I was also told that it is going to be somewhat cold since we’re going to be at a mountainous area. Yes! I love cold.

Okay, goodnight for now. Will update again another time.

Still In Doubt.

2009-02-25T01:40:00.000+08:00

As of today, I think I am back in the game. A game of words and thoughts inscribed on some website for everyone to see and read. Pardon me; my brain is a little rusted from the delayed creative writing activity I’ve always loved. It has been a month since my last entry and without a doubt, some things happen.

Here’s a little quick update on my life. Haha, as if people actually read it and care. But there’s no worry to it for me because my intention is not to showcase my life. Audience or no audience on this blog, it doesn’t matter.

After the Sentosa Flowers event ended, I became jobless for about a week. The next thing I know, I got a call from this company and I got a new job! I started work the next day and this week is my third week working there; although it doesn’t necessary mean that I’ve been working there for 15 days now. I skipped some days because of some reasons. I have a feeling though, that this will be my last week of work. I don’t mind if it is because I have stuffs to do when March comes. So we’ll see.

Last week, my brother sent my laptop for repair. The mousepad and its button weren’t working. I waited for seven days and today, finally, I collected my laptop. I am such a happy goober to finally have it back and everything working as normal. It was a hard life without having the dependence on my laptop. Although it was a good away moment from technology.

Since today is February 25th, I am now exactly 20 years and 5 months old. Since the start of the New Year, there were some things that had been fulfilled from my wishes/resolution. And that’s good.

A Little Update.

2009-01-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

There are so many things to be updated. I don’t remember which ones come first. But one thing for sure, second semester of school had ended. This means, year 1 had ended. It felt very fast. I am glad it is over. Thinking back on how hard it was in my first semester of school, how I felt like I was being pushed into the ocean by force without any willingness from my side. It all started too soon but ended so fast. On another note, I felt like I hadn’t bonded enough with my second semester’s classmates. It was my fault, I admit. But I don’t want to talk about it. I have to admit that at some point of the second semester, I felt like I miss my first semester’s classmates. Look at how weird things can get. Humans are never satisfied.

Another update, I am currently working at Sentosa as an event host for Sentosa Flowers event. I’m doing crowd control. It is pretty much an easy job but it is definitely tiring. Under the hot sun if I am stationed at the beach, and standing for long hours. I will only be working there for one week, because it is a one week event. I am doing double shift tomorrow and God, I am still not asleep yet. I had to report at 830am at Sentosa, for goodness sake. Okay, hopefully I will wake up early.

Happy Lunar New Year to all my friends who celebrates it! May you have a joyous occasion with good luck and prosperity come knocking at your door.

Happy 4th month with us, Kiara; my little sweetheart. Look at how much you’ve grown and how active you’ve become. I know and everyone in the house knows how much you’re attached to me now. Big sister Kitty may be mean to you but I hope the hatred or whatever grudge she has towards you will eventually die off. It takes time, darling. Grow up fast and big, if possible, bigger than her so you can fight her back. You’ll be in my heart, always. You’re loved by me, no matter what. Mark my words. =)

Kiara, sleeping on my leg.

Looks Like An Early Winter.

2009-01-17T02:27:00.002+08:00

My current state: hungry.

Let’s start off from Thursday’s event. AltCapsLock’s outing was incredible. I enjoyed every minute of it. Had dinner at KFC then we went to this place at Parkview Square. It is such a nice place. The weather adds on to the effect of the surrounding, making everything looks into place. We sat at that place for about an hour or so. I didn’t look at the time because the company was just great. Took a lot of pictures, had a hell lot of fun and laughter. I’m waiting patiently for Ad to send us the pictures. I think we change our band’s name. Is it now “Tin Tin and the Backgrounds”? Lol!

There was a funny/scary moment that happened before we reached Parkview Square. We walked past this escalator that can bring us underground towards Bugis MRT Station. I didn’t really see what happen but right after I heard the sound of the escalator moving, I heard a loud scream. I screamed too and ran down the small flight of stairs, away from the escalator. What happened was that the sound of the escalator moving was like the sound of some mean machine activating itself. What makes it scary was that the place looks so dark and haunted. Therefore, we screamed (except for Kaye. Shai, did you scream? Ad’s scream was the loudest). For once, I felt like a terrified girly girl.

Nothing much happen today but the best part was that I met a lot of people though I spent quite a little amount of time with them. Still, it was worthwhile.

I realized that I had been spending quite a lot of my school time with Suhailah, my Gamelan IG mate. One of the reasons is probably because we shared some common interest. =)

Last but not least, thank you Mark, for giving me the platform to take the first step to get to know her. I want to be optimistic but I don’t want to be a victim of false hope. Such an interesting person, I wouldn’t want to miss knowing a person like that.

2nd Last Week Of The Semester.

2009-01-15T01:39:00.003+08:00

As the days and weeks go by, I’ve been getting really tired. I’m not trying to complain but I just want to state a fact. I’m hoping that this tiresome period will end with victory. Let this semester end with a good note, and make me feel that I deserve this break in the end. I don’t want to worry too much about having to repeat module. For all I am hoping for, I want to “party” during this coming holiday.

Tuesday
I was late for UT and there is no way that I could make it on time within those first 15 minutes. I ended up having brunch at Arts Bite with Suhailah, my Gamelan IG mate. As the time came close to 11am, I felt really lazy to go to class and we agreed to go somewhere else. To make the story short, we got to know that we were not alone who skip class for the day. In total, there were six of us. Hiding in that room, we got online, slacked, sleep and played instruments. One of the best things that we did for the day was play hide-and-seek. Getting stares from people, screamed at by the cleaners and jokingly threatened by our trainer, it’s all for the sake of fun. I claim this day as one of the best class-skipping days of my life in RP. =)

Wednesday
I came to class in the morning for first and second meeting but I had to leave during second break and skip third meeting. My cousin needs help and nobody is able to so I never fail to come to the rescue. Went back home first to help carry her stuffs before leaving the house again to HarbourFront. She boarded the bus at 3pm and then I went to “window shop” for less than an hour at VivoCity. And then I make my way back to school for IG training. So now, as I typed this entry, the atmosphere in my house is quiet and still. My cousin and her two little brats are no longer here for another month or so.

Thursday, January 15th
AltCapsLock’s 3rd year band anniversary. There’s nothing I can say or do that will make you see how much you mean to me. Every person that I am given the chance to know leaves a footprint in my heart. As for my ACL darlings, I’m surprised at how much I can be myself when I am around you girls. You girls stripped me down bare and naked and no matter how idiotic I can be, or how I feel like I am no good, you girls still give me the courage and drive. It doesn’t matter if the jamming sucks or we didn’t really have a good time after dinner but what matters is knowing that we have company. I couldn’t have asked for more from you little ducklings. I definitely wouldn’t take you girls for granted. 3 years and rocking, my awesome rockstars!

So I can’t wait to meet up with my rockstar ducklings. It’s time to catch up!

Gotta Keep Moving Forward.

2009-01-11T00:25:00.003+08:00

Saturday… Hmm.

Initial plan was to go back to school to catch the gig. Somehow I got carried away with online games that I forgot about the time. Sorry to those that I said I was coming.

Later that evening, went to Junction 8 with my niece. Walked around here and there, trying to find the clothes that I wanted. I think we spent 3 hours or so. At the end of the day, I bought for myself a black cropped cardigan from Esprit. It was on 50% discount. My original plan to get a short sleeved cropped cardigan was dumped when I lay my eyes on that Esprit cardigan. In the first place, I wanted to get a cropped cardigan with buttons but this new cardigan seems okay. I don’t need to button them; all I need is to tie them up.

Jamming with Angels and Kings on Sunday. This time at Bugis since Backbeats Studio is still not up for business yet. Hopefully next week they’ll be ready. I like the comfort at Backbeats where everything is good. Alternate CapsLock’s 3rd year band anniversary is this Thursday, January 15th. Shai is up with wrist injury so we can’t jam. Instead, we’re going to have a dinner followed by intimate session with one another. I really want it to be good, girls. Hoping to see you girls this Thursday!

Angels and Kings. *credits: Kaye.C*

AltCapsLock. One of the best first few band pictures.

Another great band picture. You don't know how much I appreciate you girls. :)

The back part of my upper body is aching and I do not know why. Maybe I need to rest more? Okay, I don’t know how much more rest I needed. On Friday, when I went home, I was thrown with a terrible headache. Don’t come telling me that I did not have enough food because I did eat. Whatever it is, I’m still sticking to my plan. 10 days and counting; I’m still doing well.

The Race Is Not Over.

2009-01-08T23:56:00.001+08:00

Hello wello! Happy 2009! A week had pass since we greeted the new year and I haven’t written about my thoughts. They are in the writing process, just that I haven’t had the time to myself to sit down and type it properly. To say what I really mean and all that stuffs. I do hope that everyone is doing well and is all good. Stay tune for another roller coaster ride through another year, guys!

There were some things that I had thought about for the year 2009. They were some sort of resolution but I wouldn’t really call it that. I just don’t want to. I don’t stick to resolutions, you see. Anyway, today is the eighth day and I am still sticking to the plan. It was quite tempting in the first place but so far, so good. I hope this continues and I’ll see how much more I can do.

Since the first day of new year, I had been pretty much busy; filling my days with activities. On the first day of new year, I baked cupcakes. It turned out well, to my surprise but for those who didn’t get to taste it, no worries, I’m planning to bake more during my school break. So make a date with me and I’ll bring it for you to have a taste.

Oh, I’d just like to mention this. After the new year celebration at Woodlands, I took the almost last train home. I felt kind of bad for leaving Esna behind while I run to catch that train. I mean, leaving a friend who’s a girl at midnight alone? Kind of scary, don’t you think? Especially if you know Esna. Anyway, I reached Bishan at around 1am. I know that there are no way there are going to be any last buses and if I were to take the night rider, it will cost a lot since the journey would only be 2 bus-stops away. I decided to walk then, since there were still people walking at the pathway. So now, I’ve broken my record. I walked from Bishan MRT Station to my house at 1am in the morning. And it was a pretty enjoyable walk, except for the path walking up the hill to my house; because that was the loneliest part of the journey.

I promise I will update more when I have the time. School is left with less than 2 weeks. After that, we will all be free!

Burst My Bubble, Wake Me Up... I'm Still Dreaming.

2008-12-28T19:34:00.003+08:00

I really don’t know what I want. At times, I feel like I am on top of the world. Like anything else that I don’t and can’t have, I don’t care about them. Although at other times, even the slightest bit of [I don’t know the word] can cause agitation, confusion and so many other negative things. I’d feel low and sad, get a little emotional and starts wondering why am I like this. It could be a little misunderstanding, it could be a little complication… all these could have an effect on me. Either I’d become uneasy or uncomfortable or a little stressed out. And then it could all snap.

And it’s all in my head. It’s all in my head. In my heart, bottled up.

I’m not surprised if I’d end up killing you, shooting you in the head. It could be anyone of you.

Okay, ignore my selfless and ignorant thoughts.

Happy Birthday, Dad. We could have gone out, you know, if we didn’t believe what the weather shows. Oh well. You’re getting old, old man. On so many occasions, you were so nice to me. On many unexpected occasions, you’d surprise me with your sincerity. Though there were times, as time flies, good times that had been missed. I’m growing up, and you’re getting old. It’s only you now left and I can bet that the day where my worst fear and the fear that I had been escaping and running away from will come true really soon. Responsibility will catch up with me. Adulthood will ride on my back. And yet, I am still like this.

Sigh. Will I only accept the fact when reality crashes down on me with no mercy that I had to beg on my knees for God to save me? Show me the way, please.

I wish to be that little girl again, feeling safe next to him. Haha, he looked like the man in the picture in the background. You'll know who he is.

All I Want For Christmas Is A Bike.

2008-12-25T22:36:00.005+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS, everyone!

For once, when I switched on the television and watch the news, I want to see faces of people smiling. On their faces, I want to see the spirit of happiness and joyfulness. People celebrating joyous occasions without any fear embedded in their mind. And we’ll all celebrate every single celebration without any memory that we had ever lived in fear in this beautiful world.

Today is a public holiday. Dad brought my cousin and her children and I to East Coast Park to cycle. I have to say that today is one of the best days of my holiday. I enjoyed myself cycling with my nephews and niece. After cycling, Dad drove us to Simpang Bedok to have our dinner. I had some taste of other’s food and that made me so full now.

Here are pictures of Ali and Aqil:

Bleed This Skyline Dry.

2008-12-24T21:29:00.003+08:00

Two days ago, my parents bought a new mattress for their bed. Then yesterday, they had changed the old mattress to the new one. And I have to say that the mattress is freaking soft. I am a little jealous and I wish I have a bed mattress that soft. Maybe it’s time to change mine too. So, it will definitely be nice to do things on it. It will be so warm and comfortable. Just imagine it.

The weather today is great! It rained like the whole day. It rained a little last night and I was hoping it’ll turn heavy. Sometime later, it did! I felt like the most comfortable person. Though the pain in my stomach was pretty unbearable, the rain comforts me from the pain. I’ve always loved the rain.

The idea of staying up on a cold rainy night seems nice. To just listen to the pattering of the rain is very relaxing. I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again, I love the rain!

Mmm... I miss the cold weather here. Indonesia, 2006.

If only the weather had been like this since my first day of vacation, I would be a little more contented. With no traces or even a hint of sunlight. Rain, please don’t go. Keep falling like the tears from the sky, like the clouds are embedded with a deep strong sense of sorrow. Keep on crying, my emotional clouds.

Beautiful Dirty Rich.

2008-12-23T21:31:00.005+08:00

Last night, as I was drifting slowly to sleep, a vision came to my mind. As I was subconsciously dreaming it, I suddenly woke up. Then I couldn’t get back to that scene. If I were to put background music to that dream scene, probably I would put “Beautiful Dirty Rich” by Lady GaGa.

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Beautiful Dirty Rich - Lady GaGa

Days until 2009: 9.
Days until last day of vacation: 12.

Have I been contented?

The Cullen Gentlemen Took My Breath Away... Again!

2008-12-20T16:29:00.001+08:00

You know what I’m missing right now? I miss sitting in the bus driving through the night. I just miss the feeling of leaving your burden behind and looking forward to a relaxing time. With the cold air-conditioning blowing on your face, you look out the window and know that you totally deserve this peace. Sadly, I know I am not going to get that this December.

I had officially watched Twilight movie twice in two days in a row. First was the sneak preview with my nephew and niece. Second was with Esli. Then on the third night, I wished I was watching it too as I was looking at the red sky and thick trees outside my house. Adding on to the effect, the cold wind was blowing.

I’m telling you, I don’t care what the critics say. They are often misleading and inaccurate. I am going to continue to watch the movie. Twilight movie is great, I like the graphics, the actors and actresses played the character well and if you read the book, you’ll know that they included the important events in the movie. Damn it, I can’t get enough of it. Sorry, I’m too lazy to write a proper review. In my own humble opinion, the movie is awesome. If you think it’s a disappointment, I will still think it’s awesome. Movie date with me, anyone?

Minding My Vulgar.

2008-12-12T23:12:00.005+08:00

It’s the start of the holiday! Hell yeah, motherfuckers!

Sorry, I had been a little vulgar these days. I have manners, mind you but I like it mixed with bits of rudeness, haha. Fuck it, I don’t even make sense. And damn you, I don’t even care. You know what? I should just make today’s entry as obscene and crude as can be. What do I care? I’m celebrating in joyfulness for tonight is the start of my school vacation. And tonight, I’ll rejoice!

I got this from Facebook.

Don't you know I acted in Good Luck Chuck?

There's no other than Ian Watkins.

She's oh-so-different but sexy now.

David and Victoria Beckham.

Mmm... I like.

Absolutely naughty Kermit.

Crotch grabbing. Hah.

Intimate.

Amanda Moore.

I don’t care about the letter that is on its way to my letterbox. I’ve put it in the back of my head. To hell with whatever that’s going to happen. If they’re going to get mad, so be it. If they’re going to kill me, even better. Hah, right! Bottom line is, it’s my mess so it’s my fucking problem. They won’t understand anyway.

Hardcore Vulgar Day.

2008-12-10T23:39:00.002+08:00

I didn’t go to school today. I ended up having stomach cramps like my menses are coming. I even went to the toilet a couple of times to do you-know-what. Basically I spent my morning reading a book and then I was online most of the time on YouTube. I found some stuffs and I’m just going to share it with you guys tonight.

Randy is a definite drunkard bastard here. Oh well, Lamb of God rocks.

A video collection of moshing, circle pits and wall of deaths. Let's get hardcore! Seriously, look at how much you can let out your anger and frustrations in here. At the same time, have some fucking fun!

Can you EVER find a circle pit that could last a whole song in Singapore?

I just need to mention this. I did one of the most dangerous things ever tonight. After cooking, I lay the fried egg on the plate and then went to switch the overhead light above the fire off. Then I walked away and eat the delicious food in the room. Halfway through the meal, Mum shouted for me and then I realized that I hadn’t turned the fire off. Motherfucker! I’ve never done such a thing before. Yeah, I was planning to burn the house down actually. So that we could run off and live somewhere in peace. Of course I’m kidding. There is no such thing as getting away with murder here in Singapore.

Later at night, my Dad noticed that I had been using my laptop a lot. He said I’ve been using them from morning to night. He tried to warn me that I am just going to ruin my eyes. Like I am going to listen and stop using the computer. Come on Dad, it’s not like I don’t sleep at night.

Okay, talk to you later!

Runners Have Sore Legs, I Have Sore Butt.

2008-12-08T22:41:00.005+08:00

Okay, my butt hurts. I think it felt like getting spanked too hard and too much on the butt that when you sit on the hard floor or chair, you can feel the pain. This is all, I’m guessing, because I sat too long on the curb from yesterday’s Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon. When the crowd flow had lessened, we sat on the curb watching the few runners left and waiting for the time to fly. I did fell into a minute nap here and there because I couldn’t take how sleepy I was. When there was no runners left to cheer on, we continue to sit while we wait for further instructions. When it was all over, we had to wait for the bus to take us back to the Padang. We were still sitting on the curb and I hate waiting. It was taking such a long time. Once the bus came and we had boarded it, it was nap time!

After collecting my allowance and stuffs at the Padang, went over to War Memorial Park to meet up with my friends. Fir, Ivan and Shahibul was there. Later, Wang Jie came along, followed by Azhar. We were still waiting for Nana when they wanted to eat. Azhar and Fir stayed behind with me and not long later, came Nana with Bul escorting and supporting her. She was limping… aww. Went over to her and accompanied her to the baggage counter to help her out, before joining Fir and Azhar again. We had lunch at Marina Square and then we head home.

I was so tired when I reached home. I feel like I was swaying when I walk all due to my lack of sleep. The day before, I had jamming then went to town to search for stuffs. Came home quite late but I didn’t sleep. Reported for duty at 2am and stayed on my feet most of the time until noon. I finally reached home at 4pm. I think I am as tired as the runners themselves.

When night came, I slept at about 8pm and all the way until the next morning. I claimed 12 hours of sleep and I am glad. The fact that Monday is a public holiday really gave me a sense of relief as I don’t have to wake up early. Adding on to the good thing is it was raining the whole day. The cool weather really felt nice. I’m sure if it could rain like this all day and every day, when it is time to watch Twilight, it will add the effect. Because Forks have a really cold and wet weather in the movie.

Celebrated my nephew’s birthday today. His birthday actually fell on last Friday, December 5th. It was a belated celebration as they wanted to push it back to public holiday. His mother got him a Barney cake and it is pretty delicious. The only flaw is the too much cream as it got me sick of the cake too early. Also, the white chocolate that shapes the Barney character. It was too sweet. I eat it up anyway. Oh yeah, I gave him a Play-Doh set for his birthday present. I'm such a great aunt.

Happy 4th Birthday, Ali! =)

Congratulations to all the runners of Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon for outshining yourselves in the race! I’m sure you’ve done yourselves proud. ;p

Selamat Hari Raya Eid Adha to all my Muslim friends. Make some mutton or lamb chops for me! And not forgetting the less fortunate friends of us.

The Drink That Meant The World To Me.

2008-12-05T13:10:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, after spending the whole day in school, it is only natural for me to get sleepy and exhausted by the time I was on my way home. Since it was already night time, I was afraid that I might just fall asleep once I got home. If that happens, it would mean that I would not do my RJ and stuffs. In order to prevent that, I decided to get instant coffee. I bought this drink, Nesfrappe – Macchiato. It was under Nescafe. The moment I drank it, I was wide awake. The taste was sensational and the smell was so aromatic. It’s the second time that a coffee had really waked me up.

I feel that the drink was the next best thing after McDonald’s Ice Latte. Or maybe Ice Latte came second. Truly, that drink is the second time that I will remember forever the effect it had on me. In case you were wondering, the drink is in a small bottle.

The bottle looks like this but the flavour that I bought was called "Macchiato".

All I Need Is...

2008-12-04T23:58:00.002+08:00

After attending the Create.Republic general meeting today, I feel worried for me. Knowing that they are going to be strict on our school attendance and grades had made my heart feel uneasy. My grades and attendance had been very bad for second semester. I wonder what happened to my good student streak during first semester. I followed the rules and the most I skipped a module was three times. Look what happened now. What’s worse is that this is only my first year. I bet my GPA is going to decrease and to think about catching up and doing my very best next year seems like a very hard thing to do. Would I ever be able to do that? To really mean what I say and prove it with some action?

I’m really worried now. I don’t want to repeat modules next year. Dear God, please, give me hope. I only got myself to blame for this nonsense that I got myself into. I feel like I am the only one who is in this mess. I feel like I am the only one who is going through this. I know I am not the only one but I just feel like I am. It just feels like I am pulling just myself into the mess and it’s only me who understands what I am feeling and what is on my mind.

This rebellion isn’t going anywhere. Whatever happens to my high dreams and enthusiasm? The proud feeling of getting what I wanted? What if the one thing that you really wanted isn’t what it is in the end? I’m having doubts, I swear I am. I don’t know if I’m even doing the right thing. Like I said, I feel like I’m the only one who understands me. It feels like no one else does. Maybe because no matter what you say, I won’t listen. Because I feel like you won’t understand.

Letters regarding my poor attendance keep coming in and yet it doesn’t look like I care. Well I do now. Because I’m worried. No, don’t say anything to me now. Don’t ask me anything because I just want to keep it in the back of my head. I’m doing my best now, if that’ll make you feel better.

All I need now is love because I feel like I could cry myself to sleep. Even if it’s about the littlest thing, I might just get emotional. I need to know there’s someone out there who cares. Because I feel alone now. I really do.

A Wandering Child.

2008-12-03T20:15:00.003+08:00

I hadn’t blog for quite some time. About two weeks ago, I fall sick. I was given two days MC but on the next day, I was still feeling unwell so I stayed at home. The last time that I was really having a fever was earlier this year during the SM Camp. Anyway, when I get back to school on Thursday, I was still feeling sick. My throat was in such a painful condition that it really hurts when I swallowed my saliva. I don’t want to talk if I don’t have to. Other than my throat, my voice was incredibly horrendous due to my cold. Alternate Capslock (sorry girls, I know you hated the name) wanted to jam on Thursday but I had to postpone it due to my condition. Due to the fact that I was still feeling unwell, on Thursday and Friday that I attended school, I skipped third meeting. It felt nice to be home early and getting the rest I sure needed.

For the following week, though my fever had subsided, my cough was still a distraction to me. But the best thing about that week was that I wasn’t late for class for all the days that I attended school, except on Friday because I overslept. That was a big improvement, haha. Right, who cares, I know. And the best thing on Friday was the surprise Adam gave me. An apple was delivered to me! It really felt nice to know that you are on someone’s mind. Thank you Adam, that apple made my day. Such simple and sincere gestures always mean something to me. And they’re always greatly appreciated.

Twilight-inspired apple in hand. I know, it doesn't make the cut.

Anyway, one of my wishes had been granted and that is to get an external hard drive. Last Saturday, my father and my two brothers went to the IT fair and they got it for me. Yay! Now I can keep all my media and other important stuffs (*coughporncough*) in a safe place, in case my laptop crash. And that coughing part was just a joke. Mark, you would know me. *grins*

The Joke on Mars Bars & Mooncake.

2008-11-15T01:12:00.001+08:00

I just came back from watching Hossan, LIVE! at my school. I was informed yesterday that we were entitled to free tickets to his show. And I wouldn’t want to miss it. So we went to watch the show and man, it was fantastic! He really tickled our funny bones. It was pure comedy and laughter. Whoever said Singapore doesn’t have good comedy talents? We only have a very minority of them and they have their own versions and ways of poking fun at things local and abroad. I really cannot mimic his actions and expressions. You need to be there to understand what I went through. That show really made my Friday night.

You see these local comedians on local television and sometimes you tell yourselves that they’re not even funny at all. But no, maybe they don’t seem funny at all as a group and because it’s aired, they need to censor some stuff. But if you get to see them outside, like this live show, it’s really amazing. Have you people seen The Noose? I find that the actors in it have good acting skills. They have to make up different accents, act different roles and I could say that they actually live up to that. I really should give more credits to the local comedians. We have our local talents so give them our support!

Back to the show, it opened my eyes to see how talented Hossan Leong is. Let me be honest, I wasn’t much interested in his acts before this. I do watch him on Front before but I didn’t give him much credit. Until today, he just wowed me! He sang, danced (there were dancers too) and even played the piano. I’m telling you, he’s very good. He even sings in French! You know what? Never mind that I cannot watch Russell Peters because the tickets were sold out. I think Hossan, LIVE! is really worth it. The ticket prices were cheap (fuck you if you think because there’s no standard), it’s held in my school (in the heartlands, brother!) and it’s simply amazing. I can’t help it but to praise him lots. Russell Peters may come all the way from overseas but wait, does he play the piano? Does he sing? Does he dance? Bottom line is, Hossan Leong is multi-talented.

All I could say now is, Hossan Leong changed my perception. He opened my eyes. And he made my Friday night. When the show had come to an end, I just can’t believe it. I really don’t want it to end and I wanted him to make more jokes. Nevertheless, I count myself lucky to be able to catch his show.

I Hate This Part Right Here.

2008-11-13T17:13:00.003+08:00

I’m sitting here in school, alone in the quiet room. This feeling I felt right now and the thought that I had thinking about this coming weekend, I feel like I’m going to have a lonely weekend. First, my mother and brother are going out of town. This Saturday, I have to go back to school for a briefing on Standard Chartered Marathon for volunteers. What makes it lonely is that I’ll be alone. My friends did not sign up with me. I wonder what makes me sign up alone. Maybe the chase for CE points makes me like that.

Today I felt rather lonely at home too. It was just me, my mother and my cats when I was ready to leave home for school. Thinking about leaving my mother at home alone just now, then thinking that I’ll be home a little late tonight and then waking up tomorrow morning to my mother leaving for another country got me feeling rather lonely. I don’t know the reason if you ask me why. I know, there’ll still be other family members at home. Duh! My house is full of people. But, it’s just my heart that felt that way.

Later on at 6pm, my dearest friends from RePlug IG will be having their acoustic show at the school’s studio. Damn, I’m telling you, that place is more like Snow City than a studio. That place can freeze you to death! Adam will be singing with his band while Esna will be hosting the show. Wishing them the best of luck for later! I’m sure you people will rock out the show. All the best! Break a leg!

Pictures from yesterday:

Taken with Adam's phone.

See my face? Haha!

This photo looked photoshopped cause it seems like I was pasted in this photo. I'm not! I was physically next to Adam.

When You Caught Yourself, You Had To Stop Yourself.

2008-11-09T19:55:00.001+08:00

Sekaran II concert was nice! The starting was rather dull. SJI plays the Balinese gamelan instruments. I don’t blame them for the uninteresting start because they’re still students and are not at the professional level. After their segment, it was the interval and lucky we could freshen ourselves up a bit. Only after the intervals that the concert was starting to kick in. Gamelan Asmaradana, the professional gamelan ensemble in Singapore, starts playing their pieces. This is the time when my parents told me they were enjoying it. The ending segment was the collaboration with Gamma Rays, the fusion group. If I’m not wrong, they played 3 pieces. I love the second piece. It was very soothing. It has a mix of sad yet happy and positive emotion. Then the third piece was the one that got stuck in my head when I saw the preview of their sound check. We wanted encore but we didn’t get one. GA people were really keen when they were playing, mixed with enthusiasm and hyperactivity, especially during the fusion part. Not forgetting to mention my fellow Gamelan Naga Kencana group mates, it was nice to see them perform in the audience view. They deserve to be up there. I bet it was nerve-wrecking to have some solo parts. Way to go, mates! Despite only having the theatre half full, it was still a great concert. The audiences were loud enough to make it sound like it was more than that. I hope to have another gamelan concert like this back in Reflections next year. Who knows it would be better? And honestly, who said gamelan would be boring? Sekaran II definitely rocks!

I basically have a drowsy weekend because I have a cold and I ate the flu pill. What happened to me was that I get sleepy most of the time and to be honest, I don’t remember why. Until at some point, I then remember that I had swallowed a pill. This is not my first time forgetting that I had taken a pill. It can get dangerous, really. But lucky I don’t drive cars or machineries or I might just get some people killed!

As much as I don’t want to get involved in this, I can’t ignore the fact that I know you. And as a person who knows you, it is somewhat my duty to help you recognize what you have been doing to yourself and also, to others. I don’t care how angry you are or how much you feel like you had given up on someone or something but seriously, you are an adult. No more in kindergarten, no more in primary school and no more in secondary school. In fact, you are older, in your face! Adults talk things out; they don’t pretend and make things invisible. We are only human but it’s the devil in us that are blinding us from seeing the truth. It’s the devil in us that are making us ignorant and selfish. It’s the devil in us that are making us give in to temptation. And don’t you dare blame the devil because it’s you who are supposed to fight the devil. Don’t bow to the devil but go defeat that devil. As long as you refuse to fight that devil, your heart remains as hard as stone and as cold as ice. And it really won’t do any good to you. But hell, who am I to say this to you? I’m as human as you are, and I too, have a devil in me that I am constantly fighting. Jealousy, envy, anger… I have all those in me. But I don’t want those feelings to take over me and blind me from seeing the good. I’m not perfect, hell no, I’m not. But I’d rather not have such a simple or trivial things ruin what I have and built over the years. I know, you and me are different. In fact, everyone is different. So go take your own fucking time and look into the things that had gone wrong. They say that it’s better late than never so I hope you realize that too. And if it’s you who ended up fucking this whole thing up in the end, don’t blame me if I become the bitch. The things you’ve done for me, would not matter anymore. It’s the things that you’ve done to others that would really disappoint me. It would really alter the way I see in you. And trust me, I wouldn’t be the only one saying that.

Rescue Me.

2008-11-04T23:39:00.000+08:00

I am a cranky person right now because I am very tired and sleepy. I don’t care who you are but if you happen to be in my way, I might just lash at you. It had been such a long day for me. I just got home at about 10pm tonight. I wanted to sleep but I can’t. Then the “stress” at home adds on to my crankiness because people are just selfish and do not bother to help one another.

Esna was there for me today by accompanying me. I had to make a trip to Geylang to get the costumes for my IG for tomorrow’s performance. After the collection, we made a trip back to school to put the costumes there. I don’t want to bring the costumes back to my house because I don’t want to worry about carrying a load to school the next morning. At least now I may be carrying a burden but tomorrow, my hands will be free.

Monday’s performance for the Reflections opening show was a blast. It was literally a blast because the confetti was right next to me. I know the moment when the confetti was going to burst so at that moment, I was looking the other way and the next thing I know, I felt something drop on my face and then I see flying colours in the air. When I look down, the confetti cover was on my instrument. Wow, that was close. It could have dropped on me. The whole thing was grand, I should say but I couldn’t see how grand it looked like from the audience’s view. There were things that didn’t go as perfect as how I wanted them to be, like the moment where I should hit my instrument but it doesn’t really matter now. Whatever the case, performers should always put on a mask and pretend like nothing ever happen when something goes wrong on stage. Of course, some things may be very obvious but life’s like that. The best thing after the performance was the free food! I got my favourite chicken drumlets.

Tomorrow is the Sekaran II performance. I’m not performing but I’ll be sitting with the audience, be sure to enjoy the show. I’m quite glad that I’m not involved with the backstage crew because that would mean another stress in my head. Instead, I’ll be sitting back and relax. Awesome!

Life Goes On.

2008-11-03T00:06:00.002+08:00

We had come to the end of the one week vacation that I was SUPPOSED to be enjoying. Unfortunately, I don’t feel ready to come back to school and be welcomed by useless problem statements every single day. All I wanted now is to turn back time and “enjoy” the vacation all over again.

Had the Reflections final rehearsal on Friday and I’m glad to say that I enjoyed it. Had my parents pick me up after it ended. It just makes me feel lighter since I don’t have to go home on my own. Oh my god, tomorrow is the real thing. Looks like I will have to leave a little earlier from first and second meeting for sound check and the main thing. I don’t know how many times I had mention this but do come down for the grand event, okay my friends?

Had another jamming session with the boys today. This is our fourth jamming session together in the span of two months. We had a long break after our second jamming due to some reasons. Only today, we came up with a band name. And I shall introduce my side band, Angels and Kings. Visit our Myspace page. Add us and/or comment us. Thank you, people.

Reflections Opening Show
Date: Monday, November 3rd 2008
Time: 1230pm
Venue: South Agora

Something's Up On My Mind.

2008-10-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

The only thing that is on my mind right now is the thought of jamming. Thinking about jamming always makes me happier. It is like a drug to help me through my episode of depression. Why am I thinking of jamming? Because it’s the first thing that came into my mind once today’s rehearsal finish. How I wish I could snap up a jamming session with a flick of my fingers. For some reasons, I don’t like some parts of today’s rehearsal. Tomorrow is the last day of rehearsal - 6 to 9pm. That would also mean we had to focus like fuck. I wasn’t really happy with my performance today. So we have to be in school earlier for more practice tomorrow before the final rehearsal. Once again, I’m skipping the Mandarin course. I don’t bloody care if you dare ask me. I have other bigger commitment.

I thank my brother for waking me up this morning. Though it was later than I had planned, I still manage to wake up and went for my morning walk/jog. It was pretty much stress-relieving, I guess. Planning to just walk tomorrow but we’ll see if I can get up.

Remember, my friends. Reflections Opening Show is on Monday, 3rd November 2008 at 1230pm, South Agora. Do come down for a grand and fantastic show. =)

I Got So Much To Say Today.

2008-10-29T23:15:00.002+08:00

A very good luck to everyone who wants to read today’s entry. If you find that reading my entries are like reading out of a fiction story book, then go ahead and read until the end. Good day!

I wanted to blog yesterday but I was too tired and I need to sleep or I’d be late for today’s rehearsal. And if I was late, that would mean hell. Judging from yesterday’s morning experience, if things don’t go well on time, the man wouldn’t be in a good mood. So let me tell you the story of yesterday:

Practically a lot of people were late yesterday and that literally fucked the man up. We were supposed to report at 9am sharp but things didn’t go as planned. He was so pissed, I’m telling you, because of what-he-said our unprofessionalism. If I was the only person there and he attacked me like that, I would be so deeply wounded inside. But because there were a large group of us, the emotions were shared so it wasn’t so bad. He was a scary man but like what I told Esna before, anything to do with him is for the best. One thing to be so grateful is that he isn’t in charge of the musicians. We musicians got a kinder director. And that makes learning much easier.

We somehow manage to finish the first half of the music yesterday and got it recorded as well. After the rehearsal ended, we knew we had a lot to practice on and I knew for sure, I had to skip my Mandarin course. Seriously, I don’t mind skipping the class now. To be honest, I lost hope in it. I knew I am not going to be selected for the China trip. Don’t ask me why but I feel more willing to go for the rehearsal than to the Mandarin course. I guess music is more of my passion than having to learn something out of a textbook and things that are classroom-related. Anyway, IG practice ended at 6pm and I had to meet Esli after that because I had to pass her my dress. Before that, rushed off to AMK Hub to get something. So I met her at 7pm, passed her my dress and we ended up talking until 11pm.

While I was walking, got a text message from Herman, my band mate from another band asking if I was coming online. For goodness sake, I totally forgot about our band meeting to discuss on some stuff. I had been in school the whole day, tired as hell that all I wanted to do when I got home is to sleep. Did I mention I didn’t get a good sleep the night before? Well, I got too much to mention but I’m not going to say everything. I only had one meal yesterday at lunch. When I got home, there wasn’t anything nice to eat. I know that when people are really hungry, they could eat almost anything but my tongue just refuse to taste the same old thing so I ate one banana before I went to bed.

What happened today:

I was supposed to be in school by 730am just to make sure that we would not be late for the rehearsal and at the same time, we could have breakfast. But I only reached at 8am and they were already practicing so I do not want to miss it so I practice with them. Mind you, I was so tired and sleepy. I didn’t have time to have breakfast but only ate another banana before I leave house. My only concern is if I would faint. Of course not, I am that strong.

Rehearsal was intense today and we really had to focus to finish the second half of the song. Did another recording and I’m sure it’s at least a little bit better than yesterday’s. Today also felt like we shifted house because we had to carry our instruments twice. From the IG room to the Conference room for the musician rehearsal, then to the studio for combined rehearsal.

After rehearsal, had my first meal of the day at lunch. Then we continue with practice until 5pm. We only have two more days of rehearsal before the opening show Monday. Remember people, it’s at noon so do come down to watch the opening show. I’m glad that tomorrow’s rehearsal is at evening. Although I would still have to come earlier, it means that I don’t have to wake up early in the morning and rush.

Hmm… my vacation of only one week but it doesn’t really feel like a vacation because I still had to come back to school. For the past two days, I had stayed in school like any other school day. Well, like I had said in my previous entry, as long as there are no problem statements waiting for me, I’m alright. I like being busy because that would mean time flies faster. However, being busy would also mean that you would be taken away from having the privilege of doing something. For example, I wasn’t able to wake up late and be online or watch television the whole day at home. I can't slack and chill! This also means that I cannot attend Fir’s birthday party this Friday. My biggest apologies to Ryna and Fir. I wanted to be there but because of this tight schedule, I can’t make it. I’ve already told Fir and if I can make it, I will rush down.

Lastly, I mean what I say when I said that I am more willing to attend rehearsals at the moment. In fact, I wish I don’t have to go to class everyday and instead, do more and be a part of events stuffs that have something to do with music. Trust me, I know things could get a toll on me but I won’t complain. Maybe I’d whine but that’s a different story. If I like what I’m doing, I won’t complain. What is busy to me when I know there are other people who are way busier than me?

And I’m positive that I had written down at least 80% of everything I wanted to mention in today’s entry. Why not 100%? It’s because I cannot mention everything and I think there will be some things that are very minor and I just don’t remember to include them in.

Goodnight, everybody. =)

I Got Your Picture, I'm Coming With You.

2008-10-25T23:16:00.003+08:00

Today marks the day that I turn 20 years and 1 month old. It was also the day that Kiara was adopted from a home. And together, within this one month, we had grown. Together, we learn new things about one another. It’s a big new commitment for me. At times, I just can’t wait to see how big she’ll grow and what she’ll be like. But it’s a long way to go and I just have to be patient. Because if I rush things, I’m rushing myself too. I don’t want things to come falling on me all at once.

Did I mention I’m having a one week vacation right now? I’m very positive it wouldn’t be much of a good vacation because it wouldn’t be enough since I still have to come back to school. Just as long as there is no PBL involved, I’d be happy. Time for me to relax and rest my brain.

Jamming with the boys tomorrow. We haven’t jam for weeks because of respective reasons. Now the time is here for us to have fun again. Take whatever’s on our mind off and let it flow in our creative juices. Hmm… does it even make sense at all?